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Thanks for this thread, an important subject, topic. I agree with you. My sister and I hated mom's spankings, but we also knew we were very much so loved by mom and dad.
One reason it is a loving bonding act/time is because they are loved and told so in their daily lives and there are hugs and kisses (its harder with teens) I have to sneak a kiss in here and there, now and again :) But I digress.
My boys are the loves of my life, and they love me, we have a great time together a wonderful relationship based on and with love and showing respect, but they also know I am the boss.This is also true with their 3 best friends that I have had spanking permission with for 5 to 10 years, they are loved and treated as my boys and they think of me as a 2nd mom. But, I am in charge and children need that, some may say I am too strict but I believe as I have said they need boundaries, rules, structure, knowing there are limits and they also need to know and understand that there are consequences. I don't nag, I don’t ground them, I spank. They know my rules, boundaries, limits.
To me, hand spankings on a bare bottom are special, I've always thought the skin-to-skin contact really makes the spanking more of a nurturing experience, a bonding time. To me there is nothing more maternal than a mom's hand being applied firmly across a child's bare bottom, also another part of the spanking that adds to the bonding, is over the lap. I always have and always will turn the one to be spanked over my lap for a few reasons, bare bottom spankings over the lap/knee is a bonding experience, a nurturing position, loving, the body contact, holding them down and close, they are safe as I am controlling them, its intimate as is my hand across their bare bottom, its easy to spank them properly and land the spanks where I want to land, having the control over their bodies while over my lap so I can spank as long and as thorough as I want, need to spank.
All this being said, my loving hands are also used for many things with my boys and those under my care, like holding, cuddling, caressing their faces, backs and bottoms, tickling, taking hold of them firmly to scold and correct, to get their attention, swats... and when needed, spanking, as spanking is also an act of love, when done out of love.
If I didn't love those I spank then I wouldn't spank, I spank to punish, correct and to stop bad behavior to show the error of their way. My hand is perfect for that, but for some of us we either wanted that added something extra so we added an implement to finish the spanking, a statement, for me it was a brush like my mother used on my sister and me and Gramma used on her kids and us.
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