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Subject: Re: Pain vs Shame


Author:
Sarah
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Date Posted: 18:56:48 04/30/21 Fri
In reply to: Laura 's message, "Pain vs Shame" on 13:35:06 04/30/21 Fri

Karen,

Between pain and shame, my focus in administering a spanking has always been making sure it is a very painful experience. I've said many times, a good and proper spanking should always be something that not just hurts, but hurts a lot. The spanking needs to be something the child not only hates, but actually fears, so they do their best to avoid it at all costs. When spanking is done right, it is a deterrent for the child. When I spank, I always do so long, hard and thoroughly. There is always plenty of bawling, wailing, and screaming hysterically, with bucketloads of tears and snot. But those are all indications of a what a good spanking should be like, letting me know my message is getting through to them exactly like I am intending.

That said, however much I feel pain should be the focus of a proper spanking, shame and embarrassment is a natural byproduct. Especially as the child gets to be older and even more so when spankings happen with others present.

If you have read my posts, you are probably already aware that I have no issues spanking in front of others. I don't make a point to spank with others present, but I don't make a point 'not' to, either. If the child feels the need to act up with company present, whomever that may be, I will find the nearest place to sit and take care of their spanking. On the flipside, if they act up in an environment where I am alone with them, I also do not drag them to an area where others are at for their spanking, it is taken care of right then in that private room.

So in my home, where pain is my focus when I spank, shame (and embarrassment) have always traveled with it. My children, as well as other children I have spanked, have always complained how much they are embarrassed when I've spanked, especially when I've spanked them in public. However, I've told them, very similar to what Karen has told her Lucas, that's just how it is. And it isn't going to change. I've also told them if they want to avoid being spanked (in front of others), all they need to do is behave. Of course it's an answer they have never liked hearing.


Sarah

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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Re: Pain vs ShameColette05:58:58 05/23/21 Sun
Re: sarahJoel18:27:50 05/25/21 Tue


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