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Date Posted: 19:21:34 12/25/05 Sun
Author: Kande's Sis
Subject: The Mayor eyes the crowd over her mountain of wrapping paper
In reply to: Kande's Sis 's message, "KS peers down from the top of the stairs" on 23:37:44 12/23/05 Fri

"OK, that was the last one," the Mayor starts to climb down from her throne on top of the stage when KS erupts from the mob.

"Wait a minute! I didn't get a gift from Kande!"

Kande turns from the rootbeer keg, mug in hand. Rootbeer gushes out behind her forgotten onto the floor. "Wait just one cotton-pickin' minute. I mailed that package a week ago."

KS thrusts out her bottom lip mutinously. "Well, I haven't got it."

The crowd looks at each other nervously. The Mayor throws up her hands jubilantly. "Well. You all know what that means!"

Veteran Shippervillians sigh and begin pulling gifts out of purses, knitting bags, the tops of their boots, etc. and tossing them under the tree.

One tourist, stranded in Shipperville on Christmas due to the raging storm outside, watches incredulously. "What are you all doing? What's happening here?"

CW takes pity on him. "You see, we must all get our gifts on Christmas Day."

IG chimes in. "And if we don't, the Mayor prolongs the holiday, meaning we all have to give her gifts until KS over there," she gestures towards KS who is bullying Kande into a free eggnog, "gets her gift."

"So you keep giving gifts to each other until then?"

"Not each other," Rabid calmly informs him, licking a dollop of whipped cream off the top of her hot toddy. "Just for the Mayor."

"That includes you too, Mister," Det tells him, swinging her cape over her shoulder and nudging one buttock onto a stool, missing, and collapsing to the ground. "I'm OK!"

"But where am I to get a gift on Christmas?" the man asks in dismay.

They all turn and point at Bubba, who is gesturing the man towards the back room. Meanwhile, Kande is blubbering into her apron.

"Damn the Post Office! Priority mail must mean low priority mail. This extended interlude is going to break me."

CW and IG giggle. "Then she must not know how many bottles of wine Bubba is selling to the tourists right now or she'd turn herself over to PFC 2 and Aaron Carter and have them put her out of her misery!"

Amazingly -- considering how deaf she is -- Kande hears them. "Oh, I know all right. I just give Bubba a percentage. And speaking of Bubba," she knocks on the back room door and when Bubba sticks out his head, does an elaborate pantomime.

"What'd you tell him?" Det asks from her seat on the floor. Really, it's just easier to sit down there than try the stool again.

"I told him to turn up the snow machine," Kande whispers to the crew. "Until that present shows up, we need all the revenue from tourists we can get to feed you lot!"

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