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Date Posted: 21:02:08 04/05/02 Fri
Author: Rabid, lucky to have escaped so easily
Subject: Meanwhile...at the other end of the bar...
In reply to: Scully'sMyHero 's message, ""I'm one of you? I'm a superhero?"" on 17:04:45 04/05/02 Fri

...Rabid and Bubba are having a private chat.

"...and then Scully and Reyes started fighting and I managed to inch up the stairs and out into the alleyway," She continues as Bubba tops off her Bloody Mary for the third time.

Kande laughs loudly and the alien bartender glances nervously in her direction. He knows his boss will blow a gasket if she learns that he stands the Librarian free drinks. But he can't seem to help himself. He has fallen under the mesmerising spell of the Lady Vamp's midnight blue eyes. And besides, Bubba reasons, the Non-Human residents of Shipperville should really stick together.

"...then I sharpened the edge of a garbage can lid by scraping it repeatedly with an old nail file. Cut my bonds, hotwired a car and Voila!" Rabid, raises her glass to the little alien. After taking a long pull on her drink, she glances over at the three amigos as they plan another desperado caper. Looking back at Bubba she inquires, "So, what was all that before with the praying?"

Bubba uses plastic straws and marachino cherries to illuminate the Humans' insane fear of puppets and their new found religious belief in the intervention capabilities of Sainted Saint Bernards.

"Nah," Rabid says with a shake of her head, "You must have misunderstood. I mean...who would be afraid of a puppet?"

Bubba signs his frustration with Human Psychology.

"Well," Rabid sighs, "I agree they can be trying but I used to be a Human Being...and so I know something of their ways...odd religions and pointless fears of harmless things are all part of the package."

Bubba nods and using a puddle of condensation to illustrate...points out the many things that Human's can be afraid of as Rabid guesses...ala...20 questions...

"...Spiders...Snakes...Heights...uhmmm...," Rabid frowns, "What is that? Is that a Centuar? Mythological Beings? Oh, No...Well don't yell at ME! That's not a horse? It looks like a horse, well the back end anyway. And see there's the man part. So...that IS a man and...What IS he doing? There are people watching him and...oh, ICK...OooooHHHH...Okay, that's a PODIUM not a horse at all! Okay...yeah, public speaking...That's right! Lots of people are afraid of public speaking."

Bubba turns suddenly serious as he draws a large-eyed, pointy-chinned, face in the ring of bright water...he lets his long grey digit linger on the image as he signs the word to Rabid.

"Yeah, Buddy!" Rabid says softly, "I know! Human people are afraid of things they don't understand. Like Vampires or Greys!"

Solemnly, the Librarian drains the last of her Bloody Mary and sets the glass down with resolve.

"You know Bubba, I've been thinking" Rabid informs. "Maybe your Alien Rights protest failed because the scope was too small. What you need is more backing, a broader base, like maybe expand the fight to Non-Human Rights. And it wouldn't hurt to have some legal representation, either."

Popping off of her barstool, she begins rummaging around in her pants pockets for money. Bubba seeing she is planning to pay(for once), signs that the drink is on the house...unfortunately Kande glances over just as he "speaks".

"WHAT!?!" the Klub owner shreiks, bearing down on the hapless pair of Shipperville Misfits. "There is no FREE LUNCH at Kande's Klub. You think Mary isn't charging ME for that Blood, Sister...you have another think coming."

Bubba ducks and covers as Kande reaches over the bar to snap him with a rolled up towel.

"Hey," Rabid yelps, "Is that legal?"

"Perfectly legal," KM smirks. "Kande is all paid up on her Alien Abuse Tax for this year."

"Hurmph," Rabid hurmphs, "Well we will just see what my Uncle Rory has to say about that!"

"Uncle Rory?" KS asks, glancing up from her intense study of what appears to be a map of the Shipperville Tunnel System.

"Aunt Madges ex-husband," Rabid explains, "The one that she is still paying alimony to even though he remarried a nineteen year old Vegas Stripper and makes more money in a month than Madge does in a year."

"OMG!" KM hisses, going even paler than Rabid, "Never say that your Uncle Rory is a...a..."

"That's right," the vampire Librarian returns, "He's a LAWYER. One of the finest and fully licensed to practice in cyberspace!"

"Awwwwk," Kande exclaims, her eyes going big as saucers as the rolled up towel slips from her suddenly nerveless fingers, "Rabid's vampirism is hereditary."

Rabid/Raeann
who wonders what kind of man my Aunt Madge would marry and how in the world he ever got the best of her in a divorce settlement.

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