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| Subject: Unwatchable Movies | |
Author: Conrad | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 22:26:44 07/17/08 Thu There are a lot of "bad movies" that still have a great deal of entertainment value ("Plan 9 From Outer Space" being the best example). But there are some movies that I feel go beyond "bad" and are just plain unwatchable. Since some of these have crept into DVD or may do so someday, thought I'd list some of those I feel have no value at all as entertainment: The Story of Mankind (1957) I saw this movie many years ago and can barely remember it--not because it's so old but because the film was so poorly done. The basic idea is to show important moments in history through short skits shown between stock footage from older historical films. The result was a movie that looked like a bad high school play. The only skits I remember clearly were the ones featuring cameo appearances by the Marx Brothers. Most embarrassing of all was the skit featuring Chico Marx as Sir Issac Newton discovering gravity. He sits under a tree to play his harp, and an apple falls on his head, Ha-ha; big laugh. History of the World, Part 1 (1981) Mel Brooks tried doing what amounted to the exact same thing with this movie, with no better results. I can't think of another Mel Brooks movie that ran out of steam as fast as this one. I've never seen the end of it because I walked out of it mid-way. Probably the most slow moving of all his films. Just goes to show you, if you're going to do a history movie, just stick to one time period and not jump all over the decades. The Creeping Terror (1964) Has to be the most plotless of all the monster films of the sixties. A spaceship lands near a small town, and a monster that looks like a giant moth-eaten rug emerges. For the rest of the movie it meanders around the countryside swallowing people whole--a tiresome effect that is shown again and again and again. Making it even more difficult to enjoy is that the movie has narration rather than dialog, so that it is almost like watching a silent film. The only reason this movie didn't drop off into obscurity was Mystery Science Theater 3000 used it for one of their episodes in the 1990s. Medusa (1973) This one is almost totally incomprehensible. You don't even know why it's called "Medusa" because it has absolutely nothing to do with mythology--the name "Medusa" isn't even mentioned once in the film! As best as I could understand it, George Hamilton plays some sort of playboy psychotic living in Greece somewhere. His best friend is a gangster played by Cameron Mitchell. Between the two of them, they manage to murder half the cast of the movie. Hamilton's bizarre performance is so over the top you wonder if he thinks this movie is a comedy. Very confusing mystery film--if that indeed was what it was supposed to be! Assignment Terror (1970) This is the name I saw it under many years ago, though it has masqueraded under a half-dozen different titles, including a very bad VHS edition called "Dracula vs Frankenstein." This is misleading because those two monsters never fight each other in the movie. Making this hodge podge even more confusing is there's a totally different film named "Dracula vs. Frankenstein" (featuring Lon Chaney) that was released a year later! In any case, "Assignment Terror" is a very bad Spanish remake of "House of Frankenstein" updated for the space-age seventies. Poor Michael Rennie plays yet another space alien, this time assigned to assemble all the great movie monsters into an old castle for "retraining" and then to turn them loose on mankind. The sequences that are somewhat identical to scenes from "House of Frankenstein" are very slipshod. Making things worse is that Michael Rennie's voice is horribly dubbed, I suspect by someone else. So what you get is Michael Rennie sounding like someone doing a bad imitation of Michael Rennie! Those are some of my picks for Unwatchable Movies--anyone else have "favorites" of their own? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
[> Subject:  Thanks Conrad, good topic! I have sadly neglected the forum, the heat has me down...but I want to fix it up a bit, soon, and maybe advertise more than I have been. It will be a work in progress, for a while!
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Author: Judith [Edit] |
Date Posted: 23:15:52 07/23/08 Wed [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: I made a typo in this section; I write "Chico Marx" when I meant to say "Harpo Marx" played Sir Issac Newton in "The Story of Mankind." | |
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Author: Conrad [Edit] |
Date Posted: 09:51:18 07/26/08 Sat [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
[> [> Subject:  Conrad, I'm with you on the Mel Brooks movie...never could get into that one! I may be going against a lot of Mike Myers fans, but I just can't stomach his 'Austin Powers'!! I've laughed at some other things he's done, but ewww, can't watch that one.
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Author: Judith [Edit] |
Date Posted: 22:15:42 07/27/08 Sun [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Unwatchable Movies | |
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Author: Kimmie [Edit] |
Date Posted: 02:27:21 08/31/08 Sun History of the World Part I is one of my family's favorite comedies ever....I was surprised to see it on your bad list. My brother still brings up certain lines out of the blue.....reminds me also of my Dad. Unwatchable....this would be A LOT of the movies made today....as for oldies.....I can't name one I think is unwatchable.....when I think of one, I will be back. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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