| Subject: Re: Too much homework, help! 504 not enforced |
Author:
Ann Hogan
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Date Posted: 11:37:27 10/07/09 Wed
In reply to:
Marsha
's message, "Too much homework, help! 504 not enforced" on 07:06:58 09/10/09 Thu
Hi. My son is also 9 and in 4th grade. I ran into trouble with a school psych starting in K, and by 1st grade I'd decided I needed more control over my son's education. He was starting off on the wrong path. We were lucky to be able to afford a small local Christian school that uses the Susan Barton system for all reading intervention. My son is also ADD and can be oppositional, so he's a handful in class and I've gotten to know the staff and teachers well. I rationalized the spending knowing that if I didn't get him on the right track now, he was going to cost a lot more as a delinquent teenager later. He's mainstreamed for everything but spelling and reading, but this year I added a writing coach to help him write papers.
This year was the first year I didn't cry at my IEP meeting. It has been a steep learning curve. The principal said that they are now following my lead in the accommodations because I've done the research, I know my son, and we're all working together to create a competent student and productive person in him. I think my advice is to not give up. If you can afford outside help, that's so much the better because you have more control. Consider switching schools if you can, and get a fresh start with the administration. You all have to work together, or it just will become a nightmare for your son as well as for you.
Recess and lunch are pretty sacred to my son as well. His first calling is as an athlete, and sitting longer only makes his behavior worse. In fact, one of his interventions is to go run a lap, and that often helps him settle down and concentrate. It's not a bad idea for him to occassionally miss 5-10 minutes of a break, however, if it incentivizes him to get his work done in class. We do a lot of class work completions and redos at home and it cuts into his ESPN and YouTube time (he watches fishing videos incessantly). One more thing I've decided is that organized sports are mandatory for my son, so I do not tie his participation to his grades. He learns so much from his coaches that he can't absorb in any other forum, and I simply refuse to sacrifice something that gives him so much positive feedback.
I know we've still got a long way to go, but after 3 years of advocating for him I finally feel like I'm getting a handle on our lives.
Remember that most teachers become teachers to teach, not to be dictators. Do your research and suggest alternatives that will work for your son and the teacher. You are your son's best advocate and guide, so keep trying. Give things a month to start showing results, and if your gut tells you that something needs to be adjusted again, talk it out. Respect the teacher in front of your son, because he needs to respect her all day long. Your participation, if respectful and willing to be compromising, should be welcome in an industry where so many parents are not involved.
The most important thing to remember is that school is only a small part of the education your son will have. He's still going to grow up, get a job, have a life, and he needs every positive bit of energy you can give him to get there.
Good luck,
Ann Hogan
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