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Date Posted: 07:14:49 11/01/02 Fri
Author: Lark
Subject: OT Humor - Holidays We'd Like To See (Pay close attention to #3)

fwds removed to protect the guilty.


The Top 15 Holidays We'd Like To See


15> Codependence Day -- You'll celebrate however,
whenever and wherever your partner sees fit, you
masochistic little turd.

14> Rush Hashanah -- A week of Jewish fraternity
recruitment.

13> Watch the Armchair Pundits Explode Day -- The one
day each year when no one is allowed to discuss
politics, religion or sexual preference.

12> Barren Spinsters Day -- The unmarried and/or
childless revel in our freedom by attending impromptu
celebrations at a moment's notice without having to
arrange for a baby sitter.

Oh, wait -- who would look after our cats? Never mind!

11> Titsmas -- Hey, you can't blame a guy for trying!

10> Place Your Filthy Clothing in the Hamper Instead of
on the Floor for a Change Day -- Really, it will
NOT kill you.

9> Beethoven's Birthday -- Everyone has to finish a fifth.

8> National Pessimistic Lazy-Ass Slacker Amateur Comedy
Writer's Free Sex and Drugs Day -- Not that I'd get
any if I tried.

7> Seis de Mayo -- Otherwise known as Hangover Day.

6> Halleween -- Everybody dresses up like a topless
woman holding an Oscar.

5> National Sarcasm Day -- Oh, yeah. *That's* a great
idea.

4> Sadist Hawkins Day -- A day on which women ask men
out on a date, then crush them by showing up with
someone else.

3> Take Your Child to Lurk Day -- Hey, stalkers need
a holiday, too!

2> Susan Dey Day -- Wear fringe, paisleys, stripes
(preferably together) while the designated Shirley
Jones drives you from bar to bar in a big yellow
bus. C'mon, get happy!

1> Boy Band Talent Appreciation Day -- February 30 sounds
about right.

:o)

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