Author:
sex and the city
[ Edit | View ]
|
Date Posted: 00:31:28 02/25/04 Wed
Having seperated with her, the feelings is strange cos it mixed w different components.
I feel free but it seems life is losing sthg.
So free that i dont hv to follow what she wants. Or beware of what she does not want. This could be stressful sometimes.
But now i hv the mood to listen to some music, read a few lines of novel, hang out w fds in pub..
I hv suggested a loose r/s these days, but she rejected. We are moving apart now. She can't wait packing stuffs also. We hv no solution accepted by both. I left lots msg there in her voice mail , sure if she does not want that option, i should just letgo.
Before we move apart, i want to hv a final talk. She must hv misunderstood again, so hostile & rejected. We had bad times yesterday. It added up to negative elements and fostered the final step.
I bet she misunderstood why i hv such suggestions. Or her fds giving false instructions again. I do not know. Of course , i told her . She won't believe: I must be so bad to suggest a loose type r/s , so as to date another. The stress i need to face living w someone hostile for months, and who replied nthg as i asked the final word: "love me or not" is hard to take. As long as i know what i am doing, it does not matter how ppl mistakenly guess .
__________________________________________________________
Today, we settled a bit on r/s. I find myself missing her much. Therefore, i went to her place to wait for her.
I think and then i act, its too straightforward all the time, but its me.
Unexpectedly, she promised to go dw after supper.
She went down and met me. I waited her in delifrance. Her face popped up in front in a sudden, i didn't expect she knew where i ve gone. It's like ages i hvnt met w her. We walked past the park, her eyes are big and beautiful, it contained piles of messages. I looked into them and sought to find the quests and answers. In the darkness ,we could utter no words, I tried to hug her to express how i 've been missing her. She stepped back and retreated quickly then. It 's quite a defensive act. Then, she walked away hurrily. I stood there awhile. Half minute later, I ran breathless and found her walking home fast. Knowing i was at the back, She didn't even turn around .
Got frustrated, I sat down near the gate of her building. I sms her her abt this & she sms me to go. It was too windy, i got a bit fever when i got back home now. I brought the textbook and read some pages, alternatively sms her. After i 've changed a place, i am sparkled by the scene. I rang her for a talk . I tried to convince her as if she had been the judge. I dissected the situation rationally, and helped her to rebuild the whole theme, r/s , hers concerns..etc
I tried not to be so serious and talked abt the other things. I began to know her more...that's a failure of me really. She's quite a stubborn gal who'd like keeping her feet always behind the yellow lines. Sometimes she thinks like a mature lady, but will appear to be a 4 -yr-old girl somehow. I m nt interested in too young lady, her being mature attracts me far more than former style. In a quarrel, i'd better take her as 4yo. O.. i hvnt met any stubborn 4yo girl , i began to think how it would like....how to deal w sort like that??..
Everybody could have doubled -sides (maybe multiple). Surely i am- But sometimes, part of me is childish like, nobody would like that.
Yesterday nite, we went to Carmay's house. The roof was terrific, i caught the whole view of Victoria Harbour while they were chatting there. The light glistened in the darkness , it was a bit gloomy. I hv cans of beer , the beautiful picture of nite scenery and her on mind , the one i love, a whole bunch of them carried with sorrows though.
Today, the most happy thing is , at very late nite, she sms and said she loves me.
________________________________________________________
R/s is built on respect, a mutual one. Trust, understanding, caring, sharing of matters around us ,tolerance, acceptance,and the spice of life--happiness. All are essentials, need to build up one by one. Also,we had bad communication. This requires a breakthrough. But, its not that easy.
_________________________________________________________
24 Feb 2004
I went to her school and i searched her office one block by one block. I didnt know what i was doing. Just want to get her on the phone or talk abt it.
For her, i hv been too exhausted. I went here and there (her hse / school) to look for her with hearts falling tears. No sleep , no eat, no homework, no pride, no appreciation, no solution for days. i hv had it enough. All she insists is just to include an icq netpal as a'fd' as said. She's the one who started our dispute half yr ago, and now she comes back. I wish them good luck. The risk taken for a stranger is really at the expense of the fragile relationship.
____________________________________________________
25 Feb 2004
Yesterday nite, i tried my best to use hrs TUMP her back. That's the first time i can speak so many things interesting with her. I intended to hide all problems and talked happily or amusing as i could. She seemed accepted my apology. Actually, she's good in some way, just too young to be considerate. In the early morning, i got her msg. We had good conversation. I thought its a new start. At nite, it went worse again. I found i hv wasted too much energy on her these days, cant concentrate on everything and almost got an accident when crossing the road.
For two days, we hv tried to be happy together again. I miss her when i sleep. The time i wake up has got her image on mind also. We hv hot pot happily, and we went to the flat and make love. She's urgently going rite after that. Cos her mom must be urging. I requested 10 minutes rest before leaving. She rejected, feeling odd, i was not happy and i turned my back against her and walked in front. She cried and walked faster . I hv no strength to chase her, and its the first time i felt i am old for her. Our value and attitude to deal w matters are so different. I tried to get into her shoe and see if i had been wrong, i can view myself from her angle. I was so ignoring her being hurry. But from my view, its so so odd.
I got home. On the road, i almost got a car crash. I was so tired for days and nites handling matters btw me and her. I was checking sms msg, when i step on pavement, i heard a huge noise. Two taxi crashed behind me. The one originally maybe speeding toward me, cos the driver in the darkness far away must hv seen me moving slowly . Some drivers like doing sorta things like that.
The txi turned around and around, luckily no one was hurt.
All glasses smashed behind me. I told my gf in sms twice, she hv no response but still blamming why i showed her the face when leaving the hse and how she felt sad of it.
I made a conclusion, no matter how bad my phys. condition / personal safety/ happy or unhappy ..they r are no big deal to her.
All i kw she's not happy abt ppl feeling sympathy for me here. We were happy hrs ago hving hotpot, and now she left msg "no contact, no sms"anymore. I replied i think also we may nt fit. That's true.
______________________________________________________
26 Feb 2004- Just got msg from that Charmaine, take a look and let u heart die for her:
*蚗罫訹i喭腔翌襗豝! (00:49 AM) :
sorry ah, joy -- ten messaged me and told me that you guys quarreled because of my icq msg to you. I just want to see if everything is fine with you....but got such a big impact...
i really want to let ten know that i have no intention to disturb you guys' relationship -- i have no idea why she thinks i'm such a threat to her. I have no such intention to steal you away from her at all.
赻蚕俴坋 (00:53 AM) :
u break promise, msg come rite when we quarrel. i dont know why so coincidently.
u r always a threat to everyone. u really think so? yes, cos u want it. and want be admire, get a life pls. i am tired of that.
my wife and me started quarrel cos u, and end up now cos u msg again.
that's fact.
she finds u too short for her, but if u want, pls go ahead. we r in fragile r/s, go and get it if u want, or want interfere ppl's life.
make it quick and give her a call! Fuck!
*蚗罫訹i喭腔翌襗豝! (00:56 AM) :
i'm sorry, i only treat her as a friend. i will not chase her and will never do.
pls, calm down and think if it is worth it to make such a big deal out of it when there's nothing happening at all between me and joy.
don't let your imagination over-rule u
赻蚕俴坋 (00:58 AM) :
fuck u !!
u stir up my wife days anad nites icq, and now teach me again?
u cant explain why u cling on my wife and msg her!!
u got nobody love u madm???there tones of gals out there, cant u get anyone ? i can show a dozen !!
*蚗罫訹i喭腔翌襗豝! (00:59 AM) :
i could say no more other than there will never be more than friendship between me and joy.
I have a gf now -- if telling you will make things better.
these are the last words i have to say, i will say no more.
赻蚕俴坋 (00:59 AM) :
u r like an idiot.
no one is saying u got any affair w my wife,u know what's there? got it? stupid head
赻蚕俴坋 (00:59 AM) :
yes,u fdship can break promise.
go get other fdship! respect pls.
we breakup now, cos no fit, i hv no strength to deal w anymore, and u can go ahead now. good luck.
[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
|
Feedback: 
To : The one I have also been missing since 20020301
「WC友聚」四月份 - 《床上的禁忌》
給台灣同胞們！
女女間的情與慾(二)
Fight for legal marriage in USA!
Any Jazz music enthusiasts?
Homosexual must read