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Date Posted: 21:06:17 07/05/00 Wed
Author: Jobs Pointless and Hard (JPH)
Subject: Born legs open needing decent excitement soon(BLONDES)



Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal
her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are
all in the middle row.

Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.

Q: WHY CAN`T BLONDES WATER-SKI?
A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.

Q: WHY ARE BLONDES SO EASY TO GET INTO BED?
A: Who cares?

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A BLONDE THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE GOLFER WITH AN IQ OF 125?
A: a foursome.

Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A: An air bag.

Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
A: Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.

Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A: They have to pull their own pants down.

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A1: "All the blondes have gone home!"
A2: Has that blonde gone yet?
A3: When is that blond bitch going to leave!?

Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange
juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE BAKE A CHICKEN FOR 3 AND A HALF DAYS?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELVIS AND SMART BLONDES?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLONDES AND TRAFFIC SIGNS?
A: Some traffic signs say stop.

Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A LIGHTBULB?
A: The lightbulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Q: What's the difference betweena blonde and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around
for two weeks whining

Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless
Ming vase?
A "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her

Q: How does the blond turn on the light after she
has had sex?
A: She opens the car door.

Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb

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