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>hello. some c&c and questions below. i think this poem >needs to share more information for a reader to grasp >the >message. > > >> RESPONSE >> >> Leave me a crack in your vulnerability -- excellent! >> Let me open up your weakness >> I will disguise myself --disguise how? >> My portrayal of hidden sin -- portray how? >> The depths of your soul -- cliche >> Leading me to entice you >> I will win for your fear let’s me. -- careful with >the >use of 'for's, it can add formality to a voice that you >might not want. >> >> >> Hello evil mistress >> Come into my shadow >> For I am not afraid >> For in my greatest darkness >> I am not alone -- why aren't you alone? >> Your mask shows your cowardice -- what mask? what >cowardice? >> I laugh at you!! -- why?

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