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>My good professor Scheinblanks, > >While your well meaning assistant Dilbert may have >been trying to solve the problems of the Hadron >Collidor, he was obviously oblivious of the difference >between the “standard” fancy hamster and the >superlative fancy hamsters that I can provide. My long >haired 5th generation, genetically interbred, fancy >hamsters are specifically breed to absorb any caffeine >products either containing sugar or cream or any other >additives either common or obscure. They have even >been observed taking the full force of a pot of Earl >Gray not seconds after infusion with hardly a scald! > >As for the Irish lad’s fixing your woes I’m thinking >your money is as good as gone. Might find them down >the lane putting a thin coat of macadam down but I >would not count on it! Now if your done fooling >about and want some fancy hamsters I can supply all >your needs at 20p Ea, and that is a cost savings of >20% over your last failed attempts. > >Sincerely, > >Harold Smyth > >Bugger of Toadstools and some other organic matter, as >well as Owls… when I get a chance!

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