Author:
EKMBBC Captain Leon Harrison, G.C.M.
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Date Posted: 16:39:09 02/15/09 Sun
DONATE TO EDUCATE!
In the aftermath of his [February 2007] retirement, Pvt./Sgt./Lt./Captain Leon Harrison, Harlan County [KY] Battalion USA and East Kentucky Magazine Buckeye Bureau Chief, will henceforth and hereafter be accepting, appreciating, needing, seeking and soliciting public and private contributions, donations, funding, gifts and grants to pay for and support his Civil War reenacting and East Kentucky Magazine research and writing; including any and all expenses incurred before, during and after traveling [60 cents per mile], participating, performing and doing his journalistic duties. Mr. Harrison will accept invitations to nice places (including spouseless houses) for fine dining, drinking, dancing and romancing. The public must also pay for his autographs and to pose for and with him for photographs. He will interview, photograph and select suitable pretty friendly-female [aged 18-28] EKM centerfold and cover girl models, only the best being given auditions and screen tests for and at Harrison Studios. People should at least chip in to pay for his [$600] 1861 Springfield [reproduction] rifle.
In addition to motel and gas money, Mr. Harrison shall also accept booze, food and __________ money. None of this is for his personal passion, pleasure, prestige, profit, promotion or publicity, but rather to benefit the children and our culturally/historically/functi onally-illiterate uncouth youths, who think that there is no relevant history before TV or Tupac. With his reenacting and writing, Mr. Harrison shall attempt to educate, enlighten, entertain and inform guests, readers, spectators and students. He may even negate and undo some of the damage done by four-decades-worth of flower-child psychobabble philosophy, politically-correct propaganda, and social-engineering-indoctrinat ion that have infected and taken the place of education. The English language and U.S./Civil War history are mysteries to too many of our citizens and immigrants.
Fortunately, you too can now contribute and snail-mail in your generous donations for the benefit of our children and the nation. Alas, this mature [blue-collar big-dollar] male money machine and walking wallet for womankind must close, except for those attractive young friendly females who are willing to perform and pose…with or without clothes; he will still do his duties for cuties without spending his money on or for honeys. Mr. Harrison now has the time to inform and inspire, at least since he has retired and can no longer be fired.
Leon Harrison
West Carrollton, Ohio
No, Leon, I will not contribute to you because I am a greedy selfish cheapskate who doesn’t care about children, dogs, cats, the less-fortunate, the elderly, veterans or Mother Earth.
Yes, Leon! I am happy to donate to you at this time and in the future! Enclosed is this, my most generous cash/check/money order for:
$1,000 ________$500 ________$100 ________
Donations are not tax-deductible, yet, but they should be! If you have any money left, the government is not taking enough.
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DONATE TO EDUCATE!