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East Kentucky Magazine Buckeye Bureau
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Date Posted: 15:34:45 02/18/07 Sun
EKM Buckeye Bureau
West Carrollton, Ohio
Sunday, Feb. 18, 2007, 2:53 p.m.
General Combs,
I've been snowed in for a couple of days, since I finally ran out of luck and got my car stuck at the end of my driveway; rescued by a neighbor with an old Ford pickup truck and towing strap [that I broke], pulling my crooked vehicle into the street. Yes, for the past 26 years or so, I have been laughing at my neighbor, Bill Kennedy, for conscientiously shoveling snow from his driveway, so that I could keep from doing likewise with mine, using his to get a good run across Upland Drive into my garage. I know that God is busy, so I don't complain, question, bitch or whine to him too much. I suspect that when one gets too confident and cocky, that he gets them back in touch and takes them down a notch by reminding them of reality. I knew that I should back STRAIGHT back out of my garage fast, without backing in front of any people or vehicles driving by on Upland Drive. For some dumb reason, I steered that sensitive power steering just a little to one side, catching the left rear and stopping it upon a pile of snow by the street, getting it out of the tracks. So, I started rocking the car and burning those front-powered tires, until I slid the car across my driveway. I didn't see them, but I sensed that some of my neighbors were looking and laughing at this scene: the lazy wise guy who never seemed to shovel snow from his driveway, while looking and laughing at his neighbors who did. The front wheels finally started digging into the mud of the front yard beside the drive. Yes, finally, I had to give up and get out and get my steel snow shovel. Tire burning and cussing and fussing were interrupted by shoveling, putting stuff into the muddy tire holes, and doing it over and over, low-slung chassis digging in front and rear with no snow clearance. Thank God for a nearby merciful neighbor who had finally been notified by his compassionate curious wife that I was still stuck and out of luck. He brought his big white old Ford pickup truck with long nylon towing strap and shiny steel snaps. There was no sturdy steel under my front bumper to attach this tow strap to. So, we did it from the rear, breaking the strap once and retying it again, pulling the rear of my car passed my mailbox, nearly hitting it. Hallelujah! Finally getting my ride back onto Upland Drive, which had been adequately cleaned off by the City of W.C. They ought to likewise clean off the driveway of the East Kentucky Magazine Buckeye Bureau...if they want to read about themselves in a glorious complimentary EKM story. So, since The Queen Mam...ah, my mother's driveway is just about like mine, we communicated by telephone [she calling me] and agreed to just stay inside and snowed-in at home, leaving it up to God and global warming to melt the snow from our driveways. So, I don't mind my recent retirement and being snowed-in at home and the EKM Buckeye Bureau: reading from a good paperback book while slowly soaking in a hot bubble bath, listening to my stereo and viewing and listening to my TV, wasting time online, and sending this with digital snow images that I took just a few minutes or so ago, like ya know. I have plenty of homework and research to do, too. A clear cold sunny day, warmer outside temperatures starting on Monday until all the ice and snow is finally melted away. Well, General, I hope that you like and maybe even can use some of these snow pictures...not as nice as any of the many picturesque mountain-country digital images that you and the staff can easily and simply shoot by just stepping out the door at EKM H.Q. Best wishes and regards to all. I still have to polish my brass uniform buttons, and roll, fill up, and crimp some black-powder recycled-rewrite-paper cartridges.
EKMBBC Captain Leon Harrison, G.C.M.
EKM Buckeye Bureau, West Carrollton, Ohio
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From: Captain Harrison to General Combs, re: snow pictures