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Subject: Re: question Author: Elizabeth Wallace (Dr) [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 08:15:22 10/29/08 Wed In reply to: mo 's message, "question" on 19:20:53 09/24/08 Wed Hi... Just want to point out that people who have dyslexia tend to usually be (in the eyes of others only) MESSY, since they have trouble sorting and putting things away. I have noticed that they try really hard when same is mentioned to them and they tend to respond by placing things in a pile...e.g the washing up...in a particular place. They will wash up but will not like to put things away as this causes them frustration. Piling up is 'neatness' in their view...and the washing up is 'finished' ...unfortunately it is not in yours. If things are not able to be seen in these piles...well then in the mind of a dyslexic...they often don't exist...it's sort of a case of...not there...well if you put it away... its out of mind and doesn't exist...and if they can't see it...well they often can't remember where it is located or if it exists at all...and they will ask you...Do you know where my sox, shoes are? ...(because you've put them back in a drawer or whatever)... hence in your eyes...they are messy...but actually they are just trying to cope...and often have no idea of what you are on about or where they themselves are failing. If you were picked up in this way for everything that doesn't fit into your view of the world...wouldn't you too be depressed? Imagine if all your friends were constantly at you too in the same way...would you socialize? She trusts you and therefore she likes to go out with you...just you and her... If the children do not have dyslexia...well I think it may be up to you to help train same and help them understand what your girlfriend is going through and talk about the way that she perceives things.(She won't understand what you are talking about.) A lot of things can cause a non-existant sex life. A person has to feel good about themselves and their body to develop a sense of their own personal self-worth and their own confidence. Sounds like your girlfriend is just being ground down all the time...and is becoming depressed. Try hugging and comforting her...and not picking on her...and telling her how good she is at things she can do and is doing. Turn all the negatives that you have mentioned above into all the positives that she can do...(look for these) and tell her how wonderful she is...and begin building up her confidence.You will find that she has other wonderful character traits and is proabbly very artistic and creative. Think back on what attracted you to her in the first place...that may give you a clue. Begin loving her a little...instead of losing your tether because the place is 'messy' in your eyes. I think you will find that she needs you so much and also needs so much of your loving. Persevere....train the children to help...so that they can help her....but remember...if you put everything away...tidy...she won't be able to find it...because in her mind same no longer exists. (Some people also experience short-term memory losses as well...along with this condition...trouble remembering things...like who they went out to dinner with three months ago...they remember they went out to dinner...only they can't quite remember that it was not you.)(She may look at you rather strange with an expression of suprise on her face when you tell her it was not with you.) Hmm...[All individuals with dyslexia are unique though. Seek some medical advice as well on how to treat your perception of your specific case.] [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> Subject: Re: question Author: MARLENE [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:05:43 03/13/09 Fri I can almost see where this is coming from. I just found out i'm dyslexic. I was in a 2 yr relationship that i almost felt it was 'dead' i was depressed all the time. I felt i was stupid, not good at anything. I didn't want to do anything, but sleep, didn't want to clean and all that. (at the time, i didn't realize i was dyslexic, i just felt alone and like i was stupid)But I pushed myself to get out of the relationship, and that's when i looked back and realized that i was expecting other people to make me happy. At the time, i didn't even know who i was, coudn't connect with hardly anybody. So, maybe she needs to try to work on things with/for herself? not sure what your situation is, but I know it has helped me just being single, and trying to figure things out. Which is hard, to try and figure things out. it's helping me just knowing what my 'problem' is and that there are other people out there like this. I had no idea other people struggle with the same thing. I'm going to be starting a program in a couple of months to overcome this. Just have to save up some money, it costs a lot. Well, good luck with that. Not sure if i was of any help, but i can almost see where she is coming from. I feel i used to be in that position.