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[> Subject: Re: My Personal Experience at Cross Creek Manor
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Author:
Claire
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Date Posted: 19:35:45 10/14/06 Sat
I totally agree with what you said. This is my first time posting here and I only wish that there was a way to make these pages pop up right along side the pages put out by CCM and her sister programs. I was not at cross creek very long... about 4 months right after the 9/11 attacks. My parents decided that instead of facing the fact that their lives were (and are) a lie they would avoid by getting rid of me. I was a good kid, never did any drugs, never drank, no I wasn't a virgin, but my one and only sex partner is the guy I'm now married to. Even though I was only their for a short while (I'd filed for emancipation before I was "escorted" to Utah and my return to Michigan was court ordered. My parents would have let me rot) I have never been able to get over the profound effect that my time there had on me. I get angry sometimes, and I get so very sad... and it takes me right back. I'm there, in those dimly lit halls, unallowed to wear shoes, facing the ridicule and scorn of the people around me, not allowed to speak for weeks on end (as soon as me "counselor" learned of the legal action surrounding me back home, he put me on silence so I couldn't tell anyone)... the shame and humiliation, showering while people watched, the bra and pantie checks every day, all the sad manerisisms people picked up from the stress of the environment, not getting my period because of the constant stress (and knowing thats a common issue). It makes me cry just thinking about it. It's been five years now. I still don't talk to my parents. I don't know that I ever will... and even if I do, I know I will never trust them. They ruined any chance there ever was of having their daughter be a part of their lives. I will always be seperate from them. There are still nights that I have nightmares that they've kidnapped me. I wake up crying and hold onto my husband. I've done counseling repeatedly, but there are still times that it hurts so bad and so deep I can barely talk about it. I had my first counselor tell me that I experienced the same symptoms that a war vet does... and I totally agree. Here I am, married, with a one year old of my own, my own house, my own business and still, here I sit, with pain so deep and so aching in my heart.
And what really gets me is that I've never heard one "success" story. Yeah, cross creek has quotes from parents and students on their site, but I can garuntee that those quotes are from people "working the program." Not people at home, three years later. God knows that if you're in the program and don't say exactly what you're supposed to at every turn, they'll drop you from going home next month to starting from the fist step, all over again. It's fear and hate that drives the people there to say and do what they're supposed to. One girl was from the same city as me while I was there. She got pulled a month before I left. The first thing she did when she got home was go get high... she'd been in the program for three years. Anyone she's talked to/ heard of since still has huge drug issues, or is a prostitute, or is dead... and none of them think (or thought) to highly of their parents post-program. These awful places do more harm than good... they are hell on earth and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. OK, maybe that's not entirely true... I would wish them on my parents. I'd like them to know what they did to me and feel real shame.
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My Personal Experience at Cross Creek Manor
Re: Information about casa by the sea