| Subject: Re: Effects: recognizing, accepting reactions, and addressing |
Author:
Fred4
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Date Posted: 17:57:12 06/25/09 Thu
In reply to:
Fred4
's message, "Effects: recognizing, accepting reactions, and addressing" on 16:43:32 06/22/09 Mon
I wish to respond to the messages sent. Thoughts I have may or may not be right, so I hope the original sender in each case excuses when I may be wrong. Also, there is nothing special about my commenting, and I appreciate your thoughts as well.
Richard, thanks for the welcome. I always appreciated your thoughtful comments. One thing I want to make clear is that in other respects than the childhood enemas prescribed by the doctor for a specific illness at the time, my mother was not at all abusive, in fact was very warm and caring. Maybe that was why when I had the reaction I did, I thought there was something wrong with me. Very early on, at about age 2, I had a seemingly life threatening case of pneumonia, and maybe she thought later at ages 5 to 10 to prevent the particular illness of the moment from becoming worse, I would get the full 2-quart enemas administered as she guessed they should, and temperature, height of the bag, and air in the tube were not important. I don't know.
As far as coping "as best we can", Richard, I think that "the best we can" can actually work out well, though maybe not be a total solution. If a person feels, does, and talks out things in a manner that may seem venturous, that can work out well. I think the more serious commenters here, and that certainly includes you, are helpful in your comments.
Relative to "My Case"'s observations, here is where I am taking a wild stab that may or may not be right. If wrong, I apologize. I would say regardless, for someone who is naturally shy, I think it is great you are so forthright here.
It strikes me you didn't have any chronic illness for which a matter of course enemas are given. I don't know the names of those illnesses off-hand, but if you did, I feel your mother should have made it clear you did, and that like others who had them, this was a necessary treatment arising from the specific illness, not from you.
So, assuming they weren't for a chronic illness, even if your mother's actions may have been well intentioned, I don't think she should have given you those enemas. Doing #2 is a very personal matter, and family members should not intrude on that lightly. If she, or you, or both of you, thought you were a "withholder", rather than give you small enemas, she should have, without comment, added the fiber of more fruits or vegetables to your meals, encouraged you to drink more water whenever you wanted and especially when you were thirsty, and encouraged exercise. Under those conditions, you would do #2 regularly and naturally. In fact, the assistance of the small but not uncomfortable enemas may have contributed to your shyness. For you to think you uniquely had to take "little enemas" to go, may have contributed to your humiliation. If our comments, without judgment, help you, keep doing so.
I don't necessarily disagree with much of what the Doctor's comments here say. It may indeed the situation that "My Case" relieves emotional stress by taking enemas and self-satisfying himself sexually. However, (a) it shouldn't be the be-all-and-end-all to feel guilty about it, but (b) he should really look at what additional options he has when he feels stress. They invariably exist, and when one finds them, you start to feel better.
I don't think it is appropriate to try to dissuade John from his finding enemas sexually appealing, just as he doesn't try to dissuade his wife who feels they are not. I suppose virtually everyone at some time, myself included, has looked at sex books. They all seem to say that anal sexual activity is an individual choice, and it is not good or bad what that choice may be. I think it is only adverse, if it comes about solely from what was done to a person early in life. My only comment to John is that it started with a few shots of water from the bulb when he was young, and that when he was alone in his early teens he found he got hard in the process. Would it have been the same if he didn't get small bulb enemas as a kid? Who knows?
Sorry for this length. I can see potential value in the continuation of this topic.
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