Author:
Brendon
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Date Posted: Sunday, December 12, 2010, 01:46: am
I was switched to oral at 9 years old, but continued to get shots in my bottom through age 18. But when I had strep throat at age 12, I had a surprise return to rectal. It was a very vivid and humiliating ordeal that I actually had forgotten about until a few years ago.
As a youngster, rectal was so routine I had paid very little attention to the whole procedure. I would say it got to be embarassing around 7, and I can definitely remember the waiting room feelings of everyone knowing your butt was about to be center stage. Shots were a part of every visit, as well, and they were always given in the bottom, and they were the worst part as a small child, especially going through the entire exam knowing it was coming.
By 12, though, I had learned how to take shots without them hurting so bad. On this specific occasion, I was taken back and followed the usual routine, everything except undies off and up on the table. The nurse came back while I was still undressing, and knocked and entered. My mom was filling the nurse in on all the details of my sickness, while I sat coughing. She wrote down a few things, then took my blood pressure and pulse, as usual. She then pulled the cuff off and wrote the measurements down. Then came the shocking announcement "let's go ahead and take your temperature in your bottom this time." Before I could protest, she instructed me to "go ahead and pull your undies down for me and lie down on your tummy." Both statements were embarassing enough to be felt in my stomach. I pulled my underwear down just below my bottom, where she always had me pull them down for shots, and laid down, watching her go through a very familiar old procedure. She took a red thermometer out of a huge glass jar of thermometers, and vigorously shook it down over the counter. She then opened a drawer, pulled out a jar of vaseline, opened it and kind of scraped the tip in it, drawing out a huge glob.
She then turned around and approached me, and I turned my head away, waiting for the cold slimy feeling. To my surprise, though, I instead heard her voice again, "I need your underpants all the way down." I then slowly lifted up and pulled them down to my knees, exposing everything in the process, and laid back down with my face burning. She then spread my bottom and slowly slid in the very cold and greasy thermometer. I was still coughing a lot, and it felt as if the thermometer would go shooting out every time I coughed. I finally got up enough nerve to look back and see what it looked like. I saw the nurse holding the thermometer in place like an ink pen. At that point, she placed her other hand on the small of my back and told me to relax.
Just when it seemed the most embarassing part was over, the door sprung open and in walked the doctor. "Oops." I was mortified. The door stayed open, and I don't know if anyone saw in or not. The doctor whispered something to the nurse, and she nodded, and then the doctor announced he would be back later. I wanted to scream "close the door!" He finally left, and about another minute went by and I felt the thermometer be drawn out.
I had forgotten a lot about what a rectal temp was like, but this time it was all very vivid. I had forgotten about the greasy feeling, as well, but I spent the entire exam sitting on a greasy, itchy bottom. After I got my shot and pulled my undies up again, I made a huge mistake. Wanting to make a point to the nurse at how miserable having grease in my butt was, I asked my mom if I could go to the bathroom and "wipe up". The nurse didn't even blink, she reached over and handed me a box of tissue from the table and said "here you go, you can wipe up with these." I pretty much froze when she said that, and my mom, being the always helpful mother, stood up and grabbed the box and said "here I'll help you, sweetie." Before I even knew what was happening, my mom told me to lean back over the table. I very slowly complied, hoping the nurse would leave. My briefs were still up, and I intended to wait until the nurse left, but good ol' helpful mom yanked them all the way down for me, dropping them to the floor. She then proceeded to fiddle with the tissues, folding them nicely, and spread my bottom. She then started to wipe my butt right there in front of the nurse. Of course, the nurse finally left while my mom was still wiping my bottom, opening the door for anyone to see. I was pretty much totally humiliated, and didn't really say anything else. It was one of those days that felt like everything was intentionally designed to embarass me as much as possible. The nurse and my mom didn't seem to think anything of it all, though.
After we left the room, I was certain everyone in the office knew I had just had my temp in my butt, my usual shot, and for a grand finale had my mom wipe my butt like I was 2. My butt was still itchy, and I was sure that everyone could see me walking funny, and would know why.
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