| Subject: Re: How Do You Describe How It Feels? |
Author:
Vic Arious
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Date Posted: Friday, October 03, 2008, 10:21: am
In reply to:
Jennifer
's message, "How Do You Describe How It Feels?" on Wednesday, October 01, 2008, 11:48: am
Thinking back to when I was a toddler, the word-sensations that come to mind are
Strange;
Different;
Imponderable; (except that I pondered it a lot);
and, long before I knew what that meant,
Erotic
--or at least erectile, because, to the best of my recollection, I must have experienced something else stiff besides a thermometer during a temp, as well as at various times afterward whenever I chose to ruminate about an overlap thermometer input. (That too being part of the Strangeness aspect of the whole experience. As well as one of the wonders of little-boyhood: being able to conjure up an erection simply by a mental reprise of a maternal rec temp.)
Strange and Different: meaning not unpleasant--except for being sick or feverish--but a temporary altered state of consciousness that seemed out of proportion to the simple fact of having a thermometer in the rear. I also felt a kind of suspended animation, signaled all during the smooth and stiff penetration and presence of the thermometer.
Another way I would describe it, from my toddler-perspective, was being “turned on”--not in the drug-culture phrase of the ‘60s (this was in the ‘40s, don’t forget), but in the sense of a radio or other device being turned on, exuding potential before becoming operational, for something...but what? Those five minute altered-state interregnums gave me an inchoate question: anticipation of what? Unanswered for many years...
After outgrowing rectals by age seven or whenever, there was a hiatus in these self-arousing memories, except perhaps for goosing a spanky-fantasy once in awhile. Then, in my mid-twenties, my girlfriend happened to push my button down there with her finger. Voila: return of the r-t turn-on! And this time with orgasm, instead of all that Strange-and-Different-anticipatory-mysteriousness. Still Strange; still Different; but at last the turn-on had a follow-on...
So I do a pseudo-r-t ocasionally as a matter of nostalgia for the mysterious early-childhood stirrings of that incorrigible libido.
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