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Date Posted: Friday, January 08, 2010, 04:48: am
Women only have one skill. The ability to have children. And itâ€™s not so much a skill as much as it is a defense mechanism againt doing work. Like how an octopus shoots ink all over the place when a shark is trying to bite it or stab it with something. Thatâ€™s how women use their natural defense of cranking out children whenever a job is about to bite ahold of them.
Itâ€™s also like how Yakov Smirnoff would say shit about Russia about everything, even when it didnâ€™t apply at all. Women are exactly like Yakov Smirnoff except their broken crutch is their ovaries.
Take promiscuous sex for example. Women will explain away their debauchery with some kind of mythical â€śbiological, reproductive clockâ€ť that apparently starts dinging up like a slot machine when they hit twenty-six and spits Spanish Fly into the air like a crop duster. Where I come from we have a term for that. Horseshit.
Women also use the act of bearing a child (even the poseurs who havenâ€™t actually gone through with it yet) to prove that they can take more pain than men â€” and that women have a higher pain tolerance than we do. Where I come from we have a term for that too. Super horseshit. Hereâ€™s the horse to prove it.
Linda LeResche â€śPoppin Freshâ€ť has just earned the coveted MenAreBetterThanWomen.comâ€™s Honorary Man of the Month award for August (congratulations Reschey Resche) by releasing some foxy facts and findings that really donâ€™t mean shit if youâ€™re either a man or youâ€™re a women who lets a man do all the thinking, talking, and driving for her. If youâ€™re either one of those then the findings and the rest of life in general are obvious.
Men can take more pain that women, says LeResche. Way the fuck more.
I didnâ€™t read the rest of the study because, what the fuck. Itâ€™s obvious. Men can take more pain then women? I figured that out the first time I was kicked in the bean machine and fell to the ground for several minutes. I had seen a woman do the same thing when she was struck in the head by a football. The two are not the same.
So have women have been faking that they can take more pain than men? No. They could never do that sort of thing because a woman would never pass up the opportunity to bray like a pauper while being treated like a princess for stubbing her fucking toe or some silly fucking thing like that. Can you imagine? A woman choosing to keep her mouth shut when sheâ€™s just had a gold mine of attention fall on her pinkie toe? No. None of us can. Even with our mighty iMANginations.
The real dickle of this pickle is that women only appear to never be in pain because they never fucking do anything. Itâ€™s like an equal rights amendment. Sure, it sounds great (not really), but as soon as women start having to live by it everything falls the fuck apart.
Women never do anything â€” until its time to have a kid. And when that happens they scream like holy hell and say that no man knows what real pain is.
What I say is if the pain of childbirth is on par with the rest of feminanityâ€™s bullshit, I doubt it even hurts very much at all. Bam Bam and youâ€™re done. What the big fucking deal. Iâ€™ll tell you for sure that it canâ€™t be as painful as having to listen to the embarrassing, awkwardly-insulting, half-baked opinions of a woman for the rest of your life, which all men have to do.
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