| Subject: Re: Ethics (Minor Spoiler) |
Author:
howard
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Date Posted: 05:06:23 02/17/11 Thu
In reply to:
Dmitri
's message, "Re: Ethics (Minor Spoiler)" on 08:40:14 02/16/11 Wed
I hear you. When I talked about developing a relationship, I meant a romantic one, not as friends, workmates, or anything else. Sorry if I was ambiguous.
-- howard
>I can accept your points as an opinion, but don't
>necessarily agree with all of them.
>
>I can agree to disagree. I can agree about the
>"developing a relationship", but how much of a
>relationship? How much of one matters? It will be
>different to different people, obviously. Some
>(most?) of Eve's relationships will be quite short,
>others might be longer. Simple, life-long friend,
>intimate or otherwise, might qualify? The one she's
>going to marry certainly does, at least to me.
>
>Eve's husband is with her at the reunion where this
>story is being told. He obviously knows about it and
>doesn't have any problem with the situation. My wife
>and I have gay friends. Most people do, and I'm sure
>at least some don't know it. It was not long after I
>met one lesbian couple that I figured out their
>relationship, having known a similar one previously.
>I did not tell others in our common circle of friends.
> After someone else figured it out, many people in
>that group worried about it for a bit. It has ceased
>to become a problem. This was 20 years ago. There
>might be newer people in the group who don't know.
>I've not mentioned it to anyone. I don't think it
>matters.
>
>I'm not sure I agree with the "what you see is what
>you get", issue you bring up, though. How many of us
>really know our partners? I've been married almost 35
>years to the same woman. She doesn't surprise me now
>as often as she used to, but she still does sometimes.
> I'm a carnivore, my wife could be a vegetarian (but
>isn't). This came up more than a dozen years into our
>marriage. We have friends who are vegetarians. One
>couple is mixed in that he's a carnivore like me, and
>she's a total vegetarian. She's not to the point of
>vegan, though still a bit more obnoxious about the
>issue than I like.
>
>My wife doesn't have any that I can't hack, but how
>about a sudden new interest or hobby? I'm sure there
>are some, but I can't think of anything of the sort
>that would repel me.
>
>It's not happened to me, but I've had friends,
>acquaintances, co-workers, etc. complain about the
>nympho they married clamping on the chastity belt
>after the wedding or maybe the first kid. Or the deal
>before marriage was no kids, but the wife deliberately
>had them anyway.
>
>We'll have to see how much of this sort of thing Wes
>brings up in further installments of the story.
>
>Thanks for contributing, Howard. Anyone else?
>
>Dimitri
>
>>I think Eve could probably have a first date, maybe
>>even a second, with a male, but in my opinion she
>>would have to disclose things fairly quickly. I don't
>>think it's fair to develop a relationship with another
>>person without disclosing something so fundamental.
>>Even if the partner can't tell, it seems to me that
>>not speaking up is stringing him along because what
>>you see isn't what you get.
>>
>>The main point here, as I see it, is not that the date
>>partner doesn't have the information (like the
>>religion question that Dmitry brings up, same goes for
>>political views and other stuff - if it's important to
>>the partner then he'll make sure to find out up
>>front), the point is that information has been
>>manipulated so that the date partner gets a
>>deliberately wrong impression.
>>
>>My 2 cents.
>>
>>-- howard.
>>
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