Author:
dmitri
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Date Posted: 01:19:32 03/15/10 Mon
"Car 54" may have been written in a rush as you say, but it's still a very good story. The thing I liked about it was that it was very low sex, like Wes's writing (or what of it Wes lets us see, anyway). Your "Aftershock" is a good story, but has more sex in it than I like or think needs to be there. I'm to the point where I like to read all of a story, and when I get to the graphic sex, which to me, little of which contributes to the plot line of many stories at all, I just skip ahead, spot checking for when the sex finishes and the author gets back to the story so I can continue reading "the good part." Getting any hint that I'm not 18? Some stories (most of 'em on SOL) end up being mostly graphic sex and there ain't much there for me to read. SOL: Plot = sex. I'm also not much of a fan of "harem" stories, which "Aftershock" seemed to be to me.
Wes's stories, and you with "Car 54" and a few others of yours, manage to indicate that sex happens without getting graphic about it. Hell, Wes's "Magic Carpet" was about a whorehouse or three. Talk about prime opportunity for graphic sex in a story! Was there any? Nope. Congrats, Wes. I don't remember any in "Car 54" either. The reader knew it went on 'cause you told us, but the "tab A - slot B - stir until ignition" ad nauseum part was largely missing.
Along with Wes and Kirby, I'd love to read the new "Car 54." If you've extracted most of the sex from "Aftershock" I'd read the new version of that, too, but if you haven't, the old one will probably do for me.
Hopefully you've managed to correct most of the typos that were in both stories while you were rewriting.
Drools
>
>Ouch - "Car 54" was written in a rush, and as well it
>was written when I was feeling very angry at an ex -
>in other words it's a bit rough in the form you'll
>find online. When I reread it, I disliked several
>portions, particularly the ending - so, I just
>finished completely rewriting it.
>
>I prefer "AfterShock" - but I've even rewritten that
>for my new site (if and when I ever get the new site
>up and active.)
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