Re: I'm 40 and i need advice -- Unplanned Pregnancy Discussions

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Subject: Re: I'm 40 and i need advice

Author:
Kris

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Date Posted: 16:14:32 04/01/07 Sun
In reply to: Lizzie 's message, "I'm 40 and i need advice" on 22:40:34 03/31/07 Sat

Dear Lizzie,

While I have not been in your spot at 40, I was 17 with an unplanned pregnancy at one point in my life. At 17 I was terrified. I felt hopeless and alone - so, coming from that understanding, I can address some of your concerns and offer a little advice on the matter.

An abortion is a permanent answer to temporary problems. While this is difficult for you, you may be surprised at your children's reactions. They would probably be happy and look forward to welcoming thier new brother or sister. I did have a friend who's mother had an abortion and I know it made her feel insecure about her mother's feelings for her as well. ("Did my mom really even want me?" or "Would my mom have done that to me?").

Regardless of pro-choice rhetoric, I do believe abortion is unnatural and therefore, harmful to you. It has lifelong effects on women. If you click over to the "Post Abortion Healing Support Board" linked at the top of the opening page here, and read through some of the posts, you will see the devastating effects it has had on many lives.

My advice would be to start taking good care of yourself, focus on having a healthy pregnancy and baby, and if you feel you can't raise the child, consider adoption. There are millions (quite literally) of couples waiting to adopt.
Some couples now have "open" adoptions - where you place the child with the people of your choosing.

There are risks with chemical abortions - and of course, those risks increase the older you are. The same can be said of a d&c abortion. Admittedly, there are also increased risks with giving birth at 40. That's why I say to take good care of yourself.

I hope that helps some - you are more than welcome to email directly - Hopkinskc@aol.com - if you need to "talk" more.

Hugs, Kris

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[> Subject: Re: I'm 40 and i need advice

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 03:00:27 04/04/07 Wed

Hi, Lizzie,

This baby you are carrying is your other children's sibling. What will they think if they find out you destroyed their sibling? Please think about this. It is good for children to have siblings, especially when it means they might have to sacrifice a little. It teaches giving and compassion. If I found out my mother had aborted my sibling, I would be VERY upset. I'm not sure I could forgive her!

It will almost certainly cause alienation. How could it do otherwise?

Your baby is depending on you for your protection. Would you harm one of your other children? If not, why harm this one?

As for a chemical abortion, if it doesn't work, they'll have to do a D&C anyway, so you are taking that risk. Also, one of the two drugs they have to use is being used off-label. That's so the manufacturer won't get sued if it hurts you. Abortion by any method is dangerous. It could kill you or render you an invalid, unable to care for your other children. The least selfish option is to protect your child. It is also the most selfish, in a way, because in doing so, you are also protecting yourself.

My sister had a baby when she was 40. We all dote on him. He's the most loving child, and we REALLY appreciate him. She was given the option of abortion. She turned it down without a second thought. I had a baby when I was 35. I desperately did not want to be pregnant. But abortion was out of the question. And I am SO grateful we have him! He has been a huge blessing to all of us.

Hugs,
Pat