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Date Posted: 23:51:13 12/05/02 Thu
Author: 如何感動百目鳥
Subject: 54. Bound To Change

Bound To Change

給遠方的老朋友寄出一封電郵,對無表情的螢幕敲打我的感覺。她奇怪為何我變得越來越religious了,一時間我也不知應該感到欣喜抑或不配。她在美國名大學攻讀碩士或博士,說美式英語的速度比我講廣東話粗口還要快。她說她對任何宗教,尤其基督教和天主教越來越反感,因為它們「manipulate human」。我回應她「human beings are bound to be “manipulated”, either by cultural and social background, education, advertisement or peer group pressure」。這幾乎成了我電郵的主題。

有時候也會對「老朋友」這名詞感到迷茫。好像我不能釐清昨日的我和今日的我有什麼必然的關係,我也恐怕無法認定,七、八年沒有維持的友誼是否可以因從前一兩次的共同感動而提昇成永恆。不管你當初的感動是如何的感動,也不管你曾經說過多少次「friends forever」。

如果17歲的我碰見今日的我,他會不會感到滿意呢?畢竟他所珍視的感情、夢想以至原則,都被25歲的我改動過、拋棄過以至遺忘了。

2002/12/5

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