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Date Posted: 01:39:34 02/25/03 Tue
Author: I have a dream百目鳥
Subject: 79. 昏暗的故事

昏暗的故事

一.
世界是昏暗的,這個我早已知道。所以當你說著昏暗的故事,在影子的拉長中,連風聲都開始嘶啞,我並沒有半點驚訝。你在我身邊掉下淚水,還沒落地就乾了。我沒有勸解,也沒有慰問,只是默默地聆聽,默默地哼著哼著,那首古老的沒有旋律的幸福之歌,不知不覺變得非常沉重。

你一定也有問過,一千次一萬次怎會如此?從A點推演到B點歸咎於C點,如果沒有D,那麼E就不會發生我亦不會FGH以至成為現在的IJK。事實上沉淪是早已注定了,不管採取哪一條墮落的路徑。只因一開始我們就破損,千辛萬苦掃清了房子趕走了鬼,它在無水之地轉來轉去又帶回了7隻比自己更凶惡的鬼。

一點點淚水是必需要的。只是我太累了所以無法和著你哭。

二.
昏暗的故事何其之多?(噢,不能說,我不能說,凡有智慧的應當自己領會)。在透著黃光的啤酒杯內,在燒不盡的煙蒂裡頭。我要花上極大的克服,才不使自己一頭栽入回不了頭。(我是基督的門徒,我要忍耐,而且光照別人。)

所以我們都笑。只有娃娃才哭,才眼超超嘴miu miu一臉不滿。(尊嚴是藉由威脅得到的嗎?)

其實真的有很多故事想要說。但如果只是說了,又不歸納指向更高層次的一些什麼,又何必要絆倒別人呢?只是我的心更抑悶了。

三.
I have a dream,I have a dream。

我想買頸鍊給媽媽,最好是Tiffany的,告訴她她的生日我重視。我想和爸爸好好談一回,只要他不醉紅著臉,對我的意見不理不睬。我想好好勸導一下身邊不信的朋友,將我預見的、必將臨到的沉淪警告他們,而不被當作瘋子。我想振奮我的弟兄姊妹,而不需借助酒精和笑話。我想赴女孩子的約,告訴她我喜歡陪她,只要她不要拿我當後備。我想閱讀,小說漫畫或聖經,也想寫作。我想好好工作,更想好好休息。我很想帶你們離開。

然而有時我知道道路,但有時我不。結果能夠完成的都不多。

結果還是,I have a dream,I have a dream。

2003/2/25

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