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Date Posted: 02:03:49 02/29/04 Sun
Author: 最終傷人百目鳥
Subject: 204. 透明

透明

我自然也有想過,與我最親密的文字,也有和我分離的一天。無需冗談的是,我早已習慣遺忘,和過去的自己隔絕,拋棄曾經擁有的身份(例如詩者)。噢或許被拋棄的是我吧一個心死的人,再難寫下讓人感動的句子。

何況我厭棄作假。如果知道你在閱讀,難道我又要故意討你歡心?一段文字沒有讀者尤如從未誕生,有了讀者卻立刻向真相宣告死亡。想來過往我的不斷努力,在潮漲的沙灘上刻劃生活的足跡,其實都只在製造,一具具虛謊的死嬰。

我的保證又有何價值?就算我耗盡氣力,就算我再挖空心思;就算當下的心如何真誠告白,就算連段末的句點都咬出了血淚。我亦無法,叫隱藏的明天透明一點。

故此你是對的:要審慎,別想像。對於將來,任何丁點的想像都足以致死。

讓自己在今天疲於奔命,不留任何空間給浮滑的文字,營造最終傷人的幻想。那就是我唯一能說、完全為你著想的真實忠告。

2004/2/29

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