Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 08/14/09 12:32am
Hello, Bella,
I'm sorry you are being treated this way. It isn't right. I assume that the father knows what makes babies, and he chose to take a chance. Please know that when a woman has sex, her body releases hormones that cause her to bond with her partner.
Let me talk a moment about what love is. There are several different kinds of love. There is brotherly love. There is the love of friends. There is love of family. There is romantic love, and there is self-sacrificing love. Romantic love is what happens when you are attracted to someone, or when you have sex. But the kind of love you deserve is self-sacrificing love. This is a decision, not an emotion. Your boyfriend really owes it to you, and did owe it to you to choose to cherish you before you ever went to bed with him. He didn't do that. You deserve better. So regardless of whether you love him or not, and regardless of whether you chose to cherish him, he is asking something of you he has no right whatsoever to ask. He chose to take a chance. HE ruined his life, not you. And your baby doesn't deserve to pay for HIS actions with his or her life.
You don't want an abortion. So don't have one! It's not selfish to protect your child. Lots of children aren't planned. More than half my family wasn't planned. Obviously, our two adopted children weren't planned, but also two of our other children weren't planned, either. I cherish them all.
Your boyfriend is manipulating you. You don't owe it to him to get him off the hook, and you don't owe it to him to hurt yourself and your baby. Don't let him manipulate you. Stand your ground. His behavior is abusive, and quite frankly, he doesn't deserve for you to cater to that wish. Nobody has a right to demand that someone else forfeit their life for his comfort. He simply is NOT cherishing you. He's not even coming close. It's a hurtful reality, but that's the way it is. He may come around. Some guys do eventually. But he may not. But you have to stand firm in the meantime because abortion is forever.
When a woman gets pregnant after an abortion, it is tempting to get into a cycle of one abortion after another. But that cycle won't be broken until the mother either stops having sex, can't conceive anymore, or carries a baby to term. Abortion is dangerous, and could take your life. You have three other children to take care of. What would they do if you had an abortion and it killed you?
Stand your ground. Take one day at a time. You have made the right decision, but you know it is a difficult one, so you are worried. And that is entirely reasonable. But do the right thing, and let your boyfriend go deal with it. Please take care of yourself and your baby.
We will be here for you and we will pray for you. Come back any time.
Hugs,
Pat
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