| Subject: Re: Oh not again. |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 09/ 3/09 10:07am
In reply to:
bella
's message, "Re: Oh not again." on 09/ 2/09 9:51pm
Bella,
I think you are showing some real wisdom when you talk about how the baby's father wants you to have an abortion because you're being selfish! That takes a lot of gall, as you rightly pointed out. You recognize he's the selfish one!
Nobody knows what he will ultimately decide. But it takes time for men to deal with this and process it when the circumstances are as they are.
So many women get coerced into abortion by the father. That's why we often say, unwanted and unsafe. Probably 2/3 of the women who get abortions didn't want them. So where's the "right to choose"? Beats me. You have a right to PROTECT your baby from people like him! It certainly doesn't speak well for his character that he would want you to commit a violent act against your own baby. He is an adult. He can take care of himself. Your baby is defenseless.
Already, you show us that you are past the panic. At this point, there are a couple of things you can do. One is to bear with all the stuff he tries to do to persuade you to have an abortion. The other is to tell him that if he mentions abortion, you will hang up on him. Then do it. And if he calls right back, don't answer the phone. Tell him that you have made your decision. The more often you do this, the more likely he is to accept your decision and leave you alone about it. So don't be surprised if he does it more than once. And be careful. I don't know what else he might try to do. If you feel the least bit threatened at any time, make sure that you have no contact with him.
He may come around. Give him time. But like I said, be careful. We are really all alike in a way. We women accept pregnancy much earlier than a lot of men simply because it's real to us much sooner. But men don't see the evidence as soon. They have to see a change in the mother's body, or hear a heartbeat, or see an ultrasound, or feel movement. Most of these things don't happen until the second trimester. Just hang in there. Don't give him any encouragement that might cause him to think you are wavering.
You'll do fine. You are a lot stronger than you think. Work on getting the help you need to meet the new challenge.
You are still very much in our prayers. We pray that God will protect you both, and your other children as well.
Hugs,
Pat
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