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[> [> [> Subject: Re: What to do, what to do....
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Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 03/ 6/06 6:19am
Jenni,
Boy, he knows what buttons to push ("and all he could ask me was how I would feel when he fell in love with someone else and I still had to have him in my life because we had a kid together...")
Unfortunately, his response is terribly common. True, there are some guys who really step up to the plate - even letting their girlfriend's know that THEY would be willing to raise the baby even if the mother is not willing. But, for every one guy like that I'd bet there are at least 10 who exhibit the opposite reaction. In fact, 65-80 percent of women who have abortions state that they would have NOT had an abortion if they'd felt supported. So, what that tells me is that LOTS of women are "choosing" abortion when it's NOT really their choice. (That's why I'm so firmly involved with Feminists for Life. It's a fascinating group. You should check them out.)
First, you need to try your best NOT to worry about what HE thinks. He is going to lay extreme pressure (emotional and intellectual) on you to have an abortion because he thinks an abortion is in HIS best interest. True, he might try to couch his remarks in terms of how it is best for YOU, but he really doesn't care about that. He just wants to add strength to his argument.
Second...actually, I don't know if there is a second, third, fourth... (I was going to try to give you arguments you could use: "aborting a first pregnancy results in a significantly increased chance of developing breast cancer even if no other risk factors are pregnant", "the embryo/fetus already has a heart, fingers, toes, brain waves, etc. - and here are some pictures of fetal development and of what abortion does to the fetus" [then take him to the www.priestsforlife.org or www.cbr.org sites - be careful, though, they are very graphic], "I'm going to have to live with the emotional effects of abortion the rest of my life, while you'll be able to forget it ever happened.") But, I realized he's too intent on having you make his life easier at his point: none of these arguments would phase him, I bet.
Probably the best thing you can do is avoid him. It may be that he'll come around (many of them do) and WANT to play a role in his child's life. But, that can't be of concern to you right now. You need to focus on taking care of yourself and your baby (and those 10 papers/projects ;-) right now. You don't need emotional blackmail from him.
Hang in there!
Sharon
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