VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Thursday, April 18, 12:39:57Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1[2]345678910 ]
Subject: Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help


Author:
Sharon
[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
Date Posted: 02/25/09 10:46am
In reply to: Su 's message, "Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help" on 02/25/09 9:20am

Dear Su,

I have goosebumps up and down my arms reading your post! It is an amazingly eloquent message that I wish every woman going through an unplanned pregnancy could read. Wow! Powerful. And, I am SO happy for you.

And, you know what, the part about your mother is especially heart-wrenching...So many mothers don't realize that the message they're sending to their daughters when they imply "I don't want you to live your life like I did" is that someone they REGRET the choices they made. It's really not that way at all - they love their daughters and would do anything for them. They would probably lay down their lives for them. In fact, they are trying to - as they see it - protect their daughters from pain. But, what they don't realize is the message conveyed is that the choice of raising their children is something they regret, which couldn't be farther from the truth.

I'll keep you in my prayers. I'm incredibly proud of you and grateful that you stumbled upon this board (I don't think it was an "accident" that you did ;-)

Sharon

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:
[> [> Subject: Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help


Author:
Pat
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 02/25/09 12:36pm

Su,

I'm crying tears of joy for you as I read your message! Congratulations, mom!

I want to give you some additional encouragement. When I got my college degree, I had four children, and three of them were preschoolers. And I got my degree anyway. In fact, one of my children was born in the middle of the semester, and I chose to stay out for a week to rest, and aced my courses. My husband usually took care of the children while I was in class. With your mother there to help you, you have the same blessing.

Your mother seems to be feeling shame at how she treated you. She told your friend instead of you. Now be sure and tell her you have forgiven her for the harsh words. Forgiveness is a decision. In your case, it's the decision to accept the hurt she caused you and not hold it against her.

Start forming plans for your future. Go to the crisis pregnancy agency, and talk to them about what you would like to do with your life, and let them help you form some plans. Learn not to let a man take advantage of you. A man should not make you vulnerable. He has the duty to protect and cherish you, and if he's not willing to do that, then you deserve someone better. See what the father does. Give him time. Don't let him take advantage of you anymore.

Come and talk to us any time, and yes, we are very much looking forward to your updates.

God bless you! He already has.

Hugs,
Pat
[> [> [> Subject: Re: Sad, alone, confused and hurt...please help


Author:
Leah
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 02/25/09 2:56pm

:) Hi Su! I am really happy for you right now,I can feel that you have a sense of relief,and I know all to well how great that feeling is! It sounds like your mom is worried about you,and is not knowing how to express it. That happens especially when people are facing the unknown. It sounds like she was a very strong lady and made so many sacrifices for you all...you are lucky to see that. I would let her know what you told us,it may just make you both feel alot better!

Please go down to the pregnancy center,the ladies there will help you out with resources and support emotionally through this,that is so important,because there will still be stress. You are at a crossroads in your life and I know you will make this journey just find...inspite of the bumps on the road.

There is a poem on the internet called Before I Was A Mom....I think you should check it out,it will make you smile! I am so glad you have enough faith to do this,I am so glad you believe in yourself.Please keep talking this out,keep on posting,I would like to know how your doc appts and stuff are going,and stay strong! I believe in you! :)

Oh and congratulations on your pregnancy...give your lil girl a great BIG hug too :)



Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.