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Thursday, March 28, 11:40:23Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 12[3]45678910 ]
Subject: Re: someone please help


Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 10/29/07 9:40pm
In reply to: Samantha 's message, "someone please help" on 10/29/07 11:59am

Hi, Samantha,

First, I would like to try to address some of your conclusions. You say you couldn't have an abortion. If you don't want an abortion, don't have one! Feeling the way you do, it would be devastating. Don't assume that having an abortion is "what's best". It's definitely not. It is dangerous, and it could disable or even kill you. And you have a baby who is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby!

You're right that most people aren't ready to begin with. That's why we are pregnant for nine months. It gives us time to prepare.

You have obviously bonded with your baby. What would it do to you emotionally and spiritually for you to harm your baby now?

Obviously, you have some people pressuring you, and that's wrong. Once you make your decision and announce it firmly, it might take a little bit, but people will accept it because they have to. I realize your mom wants to be supportive, but honestly, for her to suggest that she will support you no matter what you decide, is really, to my mind, a form of abandonment, and if I were in your shoes, I'd say so! That's her grandchild you are carrying!

As for your boyfriend and his financial issues, the best thing to do, I think, is to get in touch with a crisis pregnancy agency. They can help you with financial issues, find you resources, help you plan. You can't really plan for the financial issues in a sense, because things never stay the same. We thought we would always be comfortable, and for quite a few years, we were, and then we went through quite a few years of real hardship. But now we're back to making good money, at least for now. So the more thing stay the same, the more they change. Your boyfriend needs to start thinking seriously about how he will provide for both of you. But with the help of a crisis pregnancy agency, you'd be surprised what you can accomplish. You're both a lot stronger than you think.

Don't feel you have to tell your doctor anything. Let this settle in your own mind. Is he also suggesting abortion? I think it is despicable the way they pressure women to make such a momentous decision so quickly. By "they" I mean medical personnel, and it doesn't just include doctors.

You don't have to think about adoption right now. If that is the right choice for you, you will know it later. Most women keep their babies, and you can do splendidly if you work at it. And you can still fulfill your dreams. I know, because I fulfilled mine, and then some, in spite of (and sometimes because of) the fact that we have seven children. Life for me has been unbelievably rich, in spite of the problems.

Hang in there, and take one step at a time. And don't worry about relying on other people. We all depend on each other, and that's the way it is supposed to be. Seriously. We are all interdependent. Let people help you now, and later on, when you have more resources, you can help other people.

Please be aware that if you have an abortion, it could destroy your relationship.

So the right thing is to protect your baby, take it one day at a time, make the necessary decisions and adjustments and plans.

Keep in touch. We'll be here for you.

Hugs,
Pat

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Replies:
[> Subject: someone please help


Author:
kali (lost!!!)
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Date Posted: 11/27/07 12:16am

hey im 16 n live w/ my bf whos also 16 .. i just found out im 3 weeks preg... n we told his family n there pushing abortion on us :<:< .. we both r strongly disargee ..our baby souldnt die because of our mistakes .. noone understands :< .. i feel so alone .. im lost :<:<, my bf works at tim hortons full time .. n im trying to get a job right now..i donno wut to do :<:< i say if we dont have susport from others this will be impossibe.. but if ppl r behide us on this .. then i know we can do it . can u plezz help me :<:
[> [> Subject: Re: someone please help


Author:
Pat
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 11/27/07 2:54pm

Hi, Kali!

You have come to the right place. We will support your decision to protect this baby. You probably will have some financial issues. It sounds like you already do. Please go to your local crisis pregnancy agency. They can help. Here are some lists of these agencies, where you can find one in your area:

www.pregnancycenters.org

You both have the right idea. We DO understand, and you are absolutely right: your baby should not die because of your mistakes. You are already head and shoulders above some people in maturity in spite of your young age.

We will be here for you any time. Please keep us updated.

Tell his family you have made your decision to have this baby. Keep telling them that. Don't discuss it. Just repeat your decision. If they start to hound you, leave the room or hang up the phone. If you leave the room and they follow you, just tell them that you won't discuss it because your mind is made up, you are going to leave the room again, and they are not to follow you. If they persist, leave the premises. Eventually they'll accept that you have made your decision. In time, they will almost certainly love their grandchild.

If it will help, tell them that I have a two year old grandchild who was born to our son who is not married. I adore him! And he is very well behaved as well as very bright (he is learning two languages), and both his parents are taking excellent care of him.

Hugs,
Pat
[> [> Subject: Hello Kali!!!


Author:
Tracey
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Date Posted: 12/ 9/08 3:07am

Kali~
Hello Kali and welcome!!! I know you are scared and confused right now, but the fact that you are taking a stand for your child(even when you're family's pushing you in the other direction) is admirable! :) You are young, but that doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid! And I commend your BF for standing by your side--he sounds like a keeper! ;) You are going need some resources, since you aren't sure how you are going to support your little one. So, first things first...we can help you in locating a pregnancy center in your area that will help you in many different ways. We just need to know your state and closest city. Crisis Pregnancy Centers are wonderful in providing women in unplanned pregnancies with things like, pre-natal care, financial help, items for the baby, etc. They also have wonderful counselors that want to offer you support and guidance in any way you need it. So, just let us know if you need help in locating a local center. In the meantime, we are here to offer you support, help, and guidance. You have found a safe place that wants to help in every way we can! I hope to hear from you and hope you continue to come back! I am praying for you Kali!
God bless,
Tracey



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