undecided, torn, exhausted -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: undecided, torn, exhausted

Author:
Kay

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Date Posted: 04/11/08 8:10pm

Hi,

Found out i was pregnant about a week ago and have been torn about what to do ever since. I had an abortion appt booked for tomorrow but cancelled it. I am not ready to say I want an abortion, but not yet ready to say I don't. I am 31 and 'can' have this baby in every way. I have been with my boyfriend 2 months and he does not want me to keep the child as he is not at the same stage in life as me and not ready to be a father. He will respect my decision though. I am assuming he will not be around and I will be a signle parent. I keep hearing about how hard it is and that you have to give up yourl ife. I dont know if i am ready for that yet - i just bougth a condo and would have to sell it (not enough room), i am looking for a new job, and i love my independence and freedom. I go from one day wanting to keep the child, to daysl ike today where i feel depressed and just want my life back before i was pregnant. I dont really see my bf as a life partner - but we do get along great. I have asked him to step out of the picture while I get my head around things for myself. But I feel quite alone - I do have people to talk to but nobody really knows what it is like to be in this position.

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: undecided, torn, exhausted
Author: Jess [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 04/29/08 10:30pm Hi Kay, how are you?

[> Subject: Re: undecided, torn, exhausted

Author:
Jessica
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Date Posted: 04/29/08 10:37pm

Hi Kay, how are you? Have you decided yet? If you haven't aborted, I would strongly encourage you to keep your baby. I recently went through an unplanned pregnancy to a man I was engaged to only to find out he was married. He was not supportive of me having the baby.

What I want to say to you is this. I had no idea what I was going to do. Alone and pregnant. I had a few friends to talk to but they couldn't relate. But, I if you read my post to Luka about you will see what I mean. It really is amazing what a baby can do for you. I still struggle with depression, but I don't believe it's because of my baby. It's because of the situation and I have had to learn to seperate the two. I love my son so much. I can look at him and he gives me the most beautiful smile some days that it just breaks away everything that was going wrong. I hope you are well what ever decision you have made. I wish you the best.

Jess

[> Subject: Re: undecided, torn, exhausted
Author: Diane Cheryl [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 05/ 3/08 10:26pm Hello Kay, Did you receive an answer from anyone here? I hope you are doing ok. Have you made a decision? I would love to talk to you more if you would email me at DCHERYL51@yahoo.com so hope to hear from you soon. Sincerely, Diane Cheryl

[> Subject: Re: undecided, torn, exhausted

Author:
mary f
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 11/10/08 5:36pm

i know how you feel, i am in exactly the same situation as you but am 4 years older. i am very depressed and confused, but after seeing the ultrasound i know i can not live with myself after having an abortion. i do not kow exactly what i AM going to do - possibly go to a therapist and take some parenting classes - but i am convinced that i should not let fear control me. i know there are tradeoffs - i am very independent and have lived on my own since i was 17 and have travelled and worked all over the world - and there are still moments where i am convinced i can not do this. i just suggest that before you abort, you go to a clinic and have an ultrasound done. see if you can go thru with the abortion then. as for the boyfriend, i am in the exact same situation. but noone can count on a relationship 100% forever- even people who are "happily married" - i have seen enough of that in my life. everyone should be prepared to take over as a single parent if necessary in this day and age. let me know if you want to talk thru email.