Re: totally lost and confused just found about about pregnancy. -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: totally lost and confused just found about about pregnancy.

Author:
Sharon

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Date Posted: 11/12/08 9:40am
In reply to: mary f 's message, "totally lost and confused just found about about pregnancy." on 11/10/08 5:11pm

Mary,

It sounds from your post like you have the heart of a tremendous mother! I understand how you might fear that since you grew up in foster care, you might not have learned how to be a good mother. But, given your comments and the thoughts you've shared, I think you're selling yourself short! I think you really DO have what it takes to be a good parent.

None of us knows for sure that we'll be able to rise to the occasion. We ALL harbor doubts about ourselves and our ability, especially when it comes to something as important as raising another human being.

But, it sounds like you've got a lot of the right ingredients ;-) Also, as you expressed, you're very blessed to have a boyfriend who is excited about bringing a new life into the world with you. That's an awesome gift. Most women who come to this board certainly do not have that. They are faced with the challenge of a boyfriend or husband who is basically coercing them into have an abortion by threatening to leave or otherwise make their lives miserable, or who is simply not emotionally there for them.

I encourage you to take advantage of some of the programs for new mothers. Your local hospital probably offers classes for free. These are VERY helpful. Even those of us who've had children could learn a thing or two. (My son and his girlfriend just had their first child. I was amazed at how much new information there is out there about maintaining a healthy pregnancy and embarking on new parenthood.)

Finally, don't be too hard on yourself about feeling "depressed". A lot of that may be due to hormones! They can certainly wreak havoc with your mood the first three months of a pregnancy (and sometimes longer than that.)

Sharon

Sharon

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Re: totally lost and confused just found about about pregnancy.

Author:
Tracey (Welcome Mary!!! :))
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Date Posted: 11/13/08 8:00am

Mary~
Hello and welcome!!! I just want to give you a hug!! :) You are dealing with so many emotions right now...I have to first tell you, this is normal in this situation! You weren't expecting this, so your whirlwind of emotions and feelings are okay and quite understandable. I'm so glad you found us! The ladies here have already offered you some amazing advice! First off, thank God it wasn't what you thought it was--cancer! But the fact that you found out it was pregnancy, probably knocked you off your feet, I'm sure! :) I also want to remind you that the first trimester of pregnancy is always emotional--our hormones are all over the place, but it does get beter in the second!!! Add total shock and surprise to that, it's no wonder you are feeling the way you are! So, allow yourself time to digest all of this. You may have had a difficult time as a child being in foster care, so you are scared of the mother you will be. Mothering isn't always taught...it just is! It's instinctual..built right into our bodies, our senses, and our emotions. You are going to do an amazing job! We are here to help and guide you through this and help you make sense of all your feelings and emotions! Give yourself time...you are still in shock. But soon, my dear, you will be rejoicing, planning, waiting, and anticipating. God gave you all these emotions, feelings, and instincts as a woman and soon you will begin to see them unfold. If not right away, soon. We promise to be here and guide you! So, Congratulations to you...you are already a mother and my prayer is that you will soon embrace this amazing gift! I cannot explain to you in words the amazing gift of being a mother...the feeling you get from just holding that little one for the first time, watching their first steps, and just knowing that this is a part of you is such an incredible thing to be a part of...I am praying for you, Mary! Please continue to come back and keep us posted! We are here, Mary!!!
God bless,
Tracey