Re: College Student - Scared -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Tuesday, April 23, 11:13:42

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Subject: Re: College Student - Scared

Author:
Katie (scared)

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Date Posted: 01/25/09 4:33pm
In reply to: Pat 's message, "Re: College Student - Scared" on 11/19/08 9:35pm

I am currently a college student in my freshman year. the only way i can afford to be here is on a swimming sholarship that i got. i am pretty sure that i am pregnant with my fiance but not 100% positive. i am scared to find out the truth and how to tell my parents. i finally started to get my life figured out and back on track by getting this scholarship and goin to college. i am only 18 and dont want to have to drop out. i am prolife and dont want to have an abortion but i dont no what to do right now. i cant afford to lose my scholarship and not graduate. we hardly have any money and it will be very hard to support a baby on our budget. i need guidence and someone to talk to. please help!
Katie

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Re: College Student - Scared

Author:
Melanie
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Date Posted: 01/25/09 11:10pm

Hi Katie, I cannot tell you necessarily what will happen next, but as the saying sometimes goes, where there is a will, there is a way. There is a lot of truth to it.

When you say you are pretty sure you are pregnant with your fiance, does this mean you are pretty sure he's the father, or pretty sure that you are pregnant? If it is the latter (not positive about pregnancy) then the first thing is to definitely find out for sure and have a pregnancy test done. You can do this without charge through a local Crisis Pregnancy Center (let me know if I can help you locate one)or fairly inexpensively by just purchasing a test.

If you are definitely pregnant, I would also recommend that you contact, The Nurturing Network. Their program is geared specifically for college and career women.
1-800-TNN-4MOM
http://nurturingnetwork.org/

Anyway, the best way to deal with the fear is to just find out all of the resources you can that are available to you and going from there. You have a little bit of time to plan yet. If I can be of any help, please let me know.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: College Student - Scared

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 01/25/09 11:23pm

Hi, Katie,

I can certainly understand your fears. And if you are pro-life, the last thing you should even consider is abortion. Seriously. It would cause severe harm emotionally and spiritually, and could also cause severe physical and medical harm, including the possibility of killing you or rendering you severely disabled.

The first thing you should do is go to a crisis pregnancy agency. You can find one in your area by going here:

pregnancycenters.org

They can help you work out a way to stay in school. You probably can get a Pell grant, for instance. And check at your college to see if they have a College Outreach Program. This is a program which is sponsored by Feminists for Life, which provides resources to college students, including housing and medical care. Perhaps once your baby is born (if you are pregnant), you can get back on your scholarship. Check into it.

Telling your parents is hard. But the crisis pregnancy agency can help you with that, too. You might want to write a letter, or talk to the parent you think will be most supportive, first. They can also send someone with you when you tell them.

Please keep us informed as to what is happening with you.

Also, please know that it is normal for a woman to reject being pregnant in the first trimester, even if she wants a baby. It's hormones.

You can finish your education with a baby. How do I know? Because I did it. In fact, I had four children when I got my degree, three of them preschoolers. The important thing is to make the resolve, take one day at a time, and hang in there. You are a lot stronger than you think.

You'll be in our prayers.

Hugs,
Pat

[> [> [> Subject: Re: College Student - Scared

Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 01/26/09 1:13pm

Katie,

One of the main indicators of whether or not a woman will regret having had an abortion is whether or not she feels she was "pressured" into it - either by her boyfriend, husband, parents, or through circumstances (like school, work, or not enough money.) I truly feel you should follow what in your heart you know to be true: if you are pregnant, this is your first child. This is a little person who is depending upon you to nurture and love him or her. True, it might not be easy. But, it will most certainly be worth it.

A number of things come to mind: First, it seems it would be discriminatory for the school to withhold your scholarship because of pregnancy. If you didn't want to have an abortion and the school made it come down to "have an abortion or lose your scholarship", I'm sure you could take that up with the administration and point out how very bad it would look for them to follow through on something like that. Second, things always seem darkest just before the dawn. There are a number of resources out there for young mothers. And, even if you needed to take a semester off (you probably would be able to continue competitive swimming through the early part of the pregnancy), you sound like the kind of person who would not let that stop them from completing everything the following semester. I got pregnant during college. I took off one semester and it ended up taking a total of 5 years to graduate. But, it was absolutely worth it. I have no regrets.

In fact, I can guarantee you won't regret having your baby, but there is a very strong possibility you will regret having an abortion. And, at that point, there will be nothing you can do to go back and change it...

Sharon