Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 01/ 7/08 3:43pm
Hi, Stephanie,
I am so sorry you are going through this! Have you visited a crisis pregnancy agency? They have so many answers. They can't necessarily find all the answers, but they can find enough so you can make it. They will help you with clothes. In fact, some of the women here can do that as well. I'd do it if I knew where my clothes were. Seriously. Also, go down and apply for some of the government programs for women in your position. You can get a Pell grant to help you through that final semester. You can get food at the food bank. Maybe they'll be short on some things, but you never know until you ask! The crisis pregnancy agency can help you find a better place to live if you need that. As for not having enough room for another child, I'll tell you how it was with us. We kept the baby in the room with us (some mothers sleep with their babies, and I did this part of the time with my youngest.) A baby will fit nicely in a dresser drawer for awhile. A crisis pregnancy agency can usually help you get a crib, too. We had three small rooms in a mobile home when our kids were growing up, and we had seven. The boys slept in the biggest room. There were five of them. They shared beds. The two girls had a double bed, and we had a double bed. Two of the boys shared a twin bed, and we had two of those, and then another mattress. You do what you have to do. These kids grew up responsible and hard working. They are very, very close, always there for each other. I have lost count of the number of different ways they shared a home to save money, including the married ones. Hardship can do that when you have loving parents. It isn't even good for a child to have too much.
As far as food is concerned, breastfeed your baby! It's inexpensive. You can probably get diapers.
Let the agency show you your child's picture. Meet your baby visually, and let your boyfriend meet your baby, too.
Here's a link to lists of crisis pregnancy agencies. www.pregnancycenters.org
PLEASE do this! You owe it to all of you to explore this option! Seriously.
A woman should never have to consider this decision. It robs her of her peace of mind and her joy. If you would commit yourself to protecting your baby, you would stop feeling all this stress. Clearly you don't want an abortion. You know what it does. A lot of women cannot live with themselves afterwards. An abortion can drive a huge wedge between you and God, because you won't be willing to accept His forgiveness. It doesn't guarantee you won't go to heaven, but it makes it much more difficult for most women to have that necessary relationship with God. You are not a good candidate for abortion, because you really don't want one. It could do terrible things to you emotionally and spiritually, and there are NO guarantees you won't suffer serious injury or even death. You know that your church teaches that having an abortion is a mortal sin. If you think you have depression now...! Please don't do it! There are other answers.
Let me tell you a little of my story. I had a serious, life-threatening medical problem. I was in the hospital. A man I didn't know came in and examined me. He said, "You have had a miscarriage, but there is still something in your uterus." He tried to talk me into letting him operate. I refused, but I was never so scared in all my life! A couple of days later, I found out I was still pregnant. This man would have done an abortion on me! After that, for months I had TERRIBLE nightmares of being chased by a man with a sharp knife, and a gang of rapists. I wouldn't wish that off on ANYONE. And women often have this kind of thing. That's why my heart goes out to women who have had an abortion. They can tear your baby out of your body, but they can never tear him or her out of your heart. You are already bonded, even though you don't feel movement yet (and you will soon).
You are a lot stronger than you think. Take one day at a time. Be sure and take your prenatal vitamins and get enough rest. It DOES help.
As for your boyfriend, try not to worry about him too much. He has plenty of stuff of his own to think about. He isn't going to see it from your perspective.
You have something vitally important to give your child, something no money can buy. You have your love and your protection.
We love all of you, and we will be here for you. Hang in there!
Hugs,
Pat
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