Unplanned pregnancy help -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject:

Unplanned pregnancy help

Author:
Sophie (Confused about what to do)

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Date Posted: 08/23/07 8:54pm

I'm 20 years old. I've just found out I am about nearly 2 months pregnant. Big surprise to me actually considering I thought I couldn't have children after trying so long with my partner. We had given up on having a baby and given up on eachother when I told him I was late for my period. He bought 3 pregnancy tests and I found out yesterday that I am definitely pregnant. We have decided to stay together but I'm unsure whether I'm ready to have a baby with him. I'm scared what my parents will say and do because they dislike my boyfriend. He lives with friends and I am living at home. A part of me is considering abortion. I never thought I would even think twice about having one but lately I have been depressed and very very confused. I have felt like I do not want to bring a baby into this world considering I seem to hate it so much. I feel like my youth is quickly fading and I don't think I'm ready for that. I am a promo girl and bartender. My body is very important to me... I like it the way it is and I don't want it changing for the worst. I know that sounds selfish but I'm not ready to be a stay at home Mum, which is what my boyfriend would want. I still want a career. I still want a life of my own. I know if I had the baby I would keep it but I want to be married before I have the baby. My boyfriend and I have known eachother for 7 years (not very well) and have been together (on and off) for 2 years this November. He has had anger problems in the past and I'm afraid to bring a baby into a home that may be violent but I don't want to do it on my own. As you can see I have many problems that I can't seem to sort out myself. My brain is blank - I don't know whether that is by choice or not. When I try to think about what to do; how to deal with this 'problem' I find myself wanting to wash clothes, clean floors, sew clothes... anything that will take my mind off the confusion... I'm really scared and would appreciate any help anyone can give me. Please - I need advice.

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[> Subject: Re: Unplanned pregnancy help

Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 08/24/07 7:16am

Sophie,

There's a lot to process right now, but I encourage you to read my post to Nicole (it should be in the section below your post.) Sometimes, the things we see as obstacles turn out to be blessings and reward us much more than we ever expected.

First, your body won't change too much initially. With a first pregnancy, depending upon how tall you are, you can often hide the fact that you're pregnant for at least 4 months, and sometimes as long as 6 months. (Wth my first pregnancy, I actually found I could wear certain clothes even at 8 months that would obscure the fact that I was pregnant!) And, after you have a baby, provided you take care of yourself, you can often get back to near your original weight in as little as 6-8 weeks. I've had 6 babies and weigh 135 pounds (I'm 5' 7"). Our bodies are designed to have babies, so nature provides us good resilience, if we eat healthy food!

I will say a prayer for you and your little one.

Sharon