Re: Having an abortion tomorrow -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject:

Re: Having an abortion tomorrow

Author:
Shellie

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Date Posted: 10/11/07 5:44pm
In reply to: Alison 's message, "Having an abortion tomorrow" on 10/11/07 12:06pm

Alison,

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's abuse! But, why would you want this man to hurt another child of yours? Death is a form of abuse too....whether the child is in your uterus or out, it's still your child. And ending its life is still ending its life. I know you feel helpless and that feeling is influencing your thinking, but don't let your fears lead you to end the life of your little one!

I was involved with an abusive man and had his child( I left him when I was pregnant). I worried that he'd seek custody. I talked to social workers that told me that he had "Father's Rights" and that he would get visitation. I cried and worried myself sick---for nothing! My son is 14 years old and has never had to set eyes on his "father".

You are so sure how things will be if you continue this pregnancy; all bad....but in reality you do not know how things will play out. And chances are, your fears and worries will not come to pass. Don't miss out on knowing your little one over these fears.

I'd get a restraining order. Even if daddy is saying he'll seek custody/visitation, he's probably bluffing. There ARE things you can do to protect your children from this man. I think you need to focus on protecting them--not hurting them further.

My heart goes out to you because this man has really brought you down--even to the point that you're willing to end your child's life, against your wishes....because of him. Why let him continue to destroy your family?

I could go on and one...I just hope you don't go to that appointment! You still have several months of this pregnancy left. And your fears will most likely disipate over time. Please protect your baby....

I hope you'll keep in contact and let us know how you're doing.

Take care,

Shellie

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Re: Having an abortion tomorrow

Author:
Alison
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Date Posted: 10/11/07 5:58pm

Thanks for all the fast replies. My appointment is first thing tomorrow morning, and I am not sure if I can do it, I feel really pressured by my parents though. If I don't do this, they will kick me out, and told me they will never have contact with me or my daughter again. That would ruin my daughter, she's very close to her grandparents. I KNOW they would do this too, they do not like my ex, and told me that they won't have anything to do with me if I have a child that is half his.

I face either hurting myself, and having this abortion. Or I face hurting my daughter by having this baby, having my daughter possibly see and have contact with the person who abused her, and having her grandparents out of her life and us living someplace I'd rather not live. If I have the abortion, my daughter gets to be free from the person who abused her, this baby will never have a father that might abuse him/her, my daughter still has her grandparents, and my parents even offered to buy me a condo as long as I don't have the baby. Right now my only wish would be that my parents would have a change of heart. I'd definitely be having this baby if I had this support. And by the way, my parents forced me into an abortion when I was still a teenager by bribing me in a similar way. When I got pregnant with my daughter, I didn't tell them until I was 17 weeks, and planned on doing that this time too, but someone spilled the news too soon and now they're putting the threats on again, only this time, they're real, and I am scared of the alternative to having this abortion.