I need a hug -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: I need a hug

Author:
Mary

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Date Posted: 03/14/07 4:05pm

I need a hug! Among other things. I really really want to run away. I am tired of being pregnant. It was really warm out today, so I got out some of my summer clothes only to find that nothing fits, nothing. Then, when Ryan stopped by to drop some things off he happened to point out that my pants were undone. I swear I wanted to slap him. It's like he doesn't even notice how hard it is to be pregnant. Pregnancy is limbo. Your clothes don't fit; your life doesn't fit. Work keeps me on my feet for 8 hours at a time and by the end of my shifts I am limping. Now, out of necessity, I find myself having to work more instead of less. Which puts me behind on my schoolwork, which makes me more overwhelmed and more depressed. I know that I am going to just have to get tough. No one is going to bail me out. But I'm so tired and I feel so alone. I don't have anything to look forward to, besides getting even fatter, having more responsibiliy, and less ability to deal with it.
Another concern: If I cant handle pregnancy how am I going to handle motherhood in combination with work and school? What if I am a bad mother, or what if I simply don't want or love this baby? AAAAHHHH!!!

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Replies:

[> Subject:

Re: I need a hug

Author:
Shellie
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Date Posted: 03/14/07 6:24pm

Hi Mary,

I wish I could hug you in person! What you're feeling is normal. My first pregnancy evoked many of the same feelings for me. The baby's father and I were no longer together so I went through it alone. What kept me going was my family. You're more likely to have negative feelings if you're not receiving support.

I too, worked through the pregnancy. Going to work while experiencing severe "morning" sickness was tough. And because my job was physical, I was beyond exhausted when I got home.

It was a rough pregnancy, but sooooo worth all the pain, fear, and uncertainty! My son is 14 now and has proved to be worth all I went through. : )

Most mothers love their children. None of us are perfect, but the love we feel for our children motivates us to be the best mom we can. You'll fall in love with this child-- trust me!

Feel free to vent here anytime.

Take care,

Shellie

[> Subject: Re: I need a hug

Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 03/15/07 4:08pm

Hi Mary,

Consider yourself hugged! And commiserated with. Some women's pregnancies are harder than others. I for one had very 'challenging' pregnancies but really easy births, and so far motherhood has been MUCH more agreeable than pregnancy, lol.

I can totally understand how/why you're feeling what you do. Don't forget those hormones factoring in, either. I always felt much less competent at multitasking and generally more sentimental and weepy while 'under the influence' of those hormones.

Be assured you DO have a lot to look forward to. You can always get back in shape, and you'll have a sweet babe to do it with. And one way or another your school work will work itself out. Maybe take on the one project that's weighing you down the most?

Good call coming here to vent - do so anytime!

With Kindness,

Heather

[> Subject:

Re: I need a hug

Author:
Donna
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Date Posted: 03/16/07 2:06pm

Awe ~ Mary~ Sending you a big {{HUG}} ,
I know it's so hard to be young, working hard with a job and school too. I think it's completely normal to have bad days, where you have thoughts like this. I think most women that are pregnant have bad days, frustrated with their bodies , their clothes. You are feeling overwhelmed right now. I promise you that when you get to the end of this journey and you see your precious baby, that came into the world, only because you cared and nurtured it for 9 long months, you feel a love like you've only imagined right before your very eyes.

Come here anytime you need to vent, we are here for you !!

Donna

[> Subject: Re: I need a hug

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 05/ 2/07 7:49pm

Mary,

I just thought I'd stop by and give you a hug. {{{{{Mary}}}}} I hope you get to see it. I hope you're feeling better today. Please don't worry about how your feelings about being pregnant will affect your ability to be a good mother. They are totally different things! Men have no idea what it's like to be pregnant. Believe me if they had to do it, they'd be wimps! They aren't designed for it. Maybe Ryan felt he needed to tell you so you could fix your zipper. A lot depends on whether he said it in a kind or offhand way, or in some other way. Pregnancy only lasts nine months, and when you look back you'll miss the intimacy you have with your baby. Just hang in there, and take one day at a time. You will be fine, even though it doesn't seem like it right now.

Pat