| Subject: Re: how to tell my parents? |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 06/29/07 7:03pm
In reply to:
Nicole
's message, "how to tell my parents?" on 06/29/07 3:52pm
Hi, Nicole!
We faced a similar thing in our family. We made sure everyone understood that sex is only for marriage, or so we thought. One of our sons loved to read books about the Christian approach to sexuality, with chastity and all that. He's the one who slipped and started a baby. He didn't even tell us the boy existed until he was something like 14 months old! He had a short affair (three weeks) with a woman he didn't even know. But he determined this was his son, and he has been a very good father. When he first told us, my reaction was, "Congratulations, I guess!" LOL Anyway, the boy's mother turned out to be a very warm and reasonable person, and I like her family, too! We went to our grandson's second birthday party, and they served some absolutely scrumptious food. I'm not going to tell you that all parents accept their grandchildren that readily, because some get very upset, and even some try to force their daughters to get an abortion. But in the long run, MOST of them will support their daughter and the grandchild, and dote on him or her.
If you aren't sure you can get an abortion, don't get one! You should be absolutely sure this is what you want, because you can't take it back. Abortion is also dangerous for the mother.
The center was quite right. I have seen many fathers react by rejecting the pregnancy at first, but becoming good fathers later. They just don't have the hormones we do, or the inside knowledge of the changes in our bodies.
The center can help you with telling your parents. I have a couple of suggestions. You can write them a letter. You can take a friend. You can tell the parent you think will be more receptive, and have that parent either with you or that parent can tell your other parent.
It takes courage to bear a child under the circumstances. But you are a lot stronger than you think! Take one day at a time.
As for your situation in college, it's possible that it will curtail your participation in athletics, but you may be able to pick it up again in a year or so. And you should weigh the temporary pleasure of athletics against the permanent regret and anguish of having an abortion. But you can finish college; I did it. I had one child in the middle of the semester, was out only a week, and aced my courses. By the time I graduated, we had four children, three of them preschoolers. If you have financial issues, you can apply for a PELL grant, or see if your college has a college outreach program. If you are that close to graduating, it won't be that hard, even if you have to go part-time for awhile.
Hope this works out for you. We'll be here, and we will stand by you every step of the way.
Hugs,
Pat
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