Author:
Shellie
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Date Posted: 07/13/07 12:34pm
Hi Lacey,
I'm happy you posted here! I'm so sorry to hear that your family wants you to abort. From reading your message, it's clear to me that you don't want to end your baby's life. The fact that you call it killing has a lot of meaning. It's harder to deal with an abortion when you know you've killed your baby; as opposed to thinking you simply underwent a surgical procedure to "empty your uterus".
There are so many women who do not want to abort, but because they have so much outside "support" to do just that, they give in. For one thing, they are already scared....not knowing what the future would be like if they let their baby be born. And in a lot of cases they don't feel like they are ready, or want a baby at the time of the pregnancy. So, even though they feel abortion is wrong, fear and uncertainty, along with support from family and friends to abort--they go through with it.
It's sad because those who are encouraging abortion give very little, if any, thought to how this will affect the mother. And many times the relationship can be ruined. Once the fear is gone, and the baby is dead, the mom starts resenting the people who made her go against her wishes and do something she wouldn't have chosen on her own.
When you find yourself in an unplanned pregnancy, it's normal to want OUT of it! It's normal to not want the pregnancy. However, a pregnancy lasts several months, and the emotional change a woman goes through during this time is amazing (men experience this too, but not so profoundly as the mother). So, women usually abort during the first part of their pregnancy....at the time when they are still in shock and are scared! They haven't allowed themselves the time to not only adjust to the idea, but to fall in love with their child. Women, who at first cry out of sadness to learn they are pregnant, are the same women who later in the pregnancy can't wait to meet their new little one!!!! I know, I've been there!!!
When I was 17 weeks into an unplanned pregnancy, I felt my baby move for the first time. And although I had already come to accept the pregnancy, it was at that moment that I fell totally in love with my baby. This wasn't just a pregnancy....it was my baby, growing inside of me! He was an innocent being who didn't yet know me, but could hear my heart beating.
Lacey, I hope you allow yourself the privilege of knowing and loving this little person who is growing inside of you! And all the family that wants you to abort will be so happy that you didn't listen to them, once he or she is born!
You said your boyfriend is against adoption. How does he feel about raising his child? How committed is he to you? This is a good indicator as to how he will love and care for his child once he or she has arrived. A lot of men do not want a baby when they first learn of the pregnancy. But, many of these men change their minds later. The ones who don't are usually men who didn't care deeply for the mother, in the first place.
Do a search online for Post Abortion Stress Syndrome and see if you think you might have this reaction. From what you posted, I think you'd have a very negative reaction to ending your baby's life, I really do.
Please continue to post here. I want to know how you're doing. You will continue to be in my prayers.
Warm regards,
Shellie
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