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Subject: Re: showing Author: Sharon [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 07/22/06 3:51pm In reply to: luka 's message, "showing" on 07/21/06 6:31pm Luka, You and your children deserve someone who loves you and cherishes you. I know what you mean about simply wishing things were different. You sound so strong to me - even as you describe how you are feeling a little down right now. It's clear from your post that you know it won't last: you have the clarity to see past it, and also to be able to describe it. That's a gift. Do you have family in Australia that emotionally support you? I'm hoping you have some sort of emotional support system. Those are crucial. As for feeling "ugly", I'm sure you're the most beautiful woman in the world to your children! On a more practical note though, I found that when I reduced the amount of salt I ate, I retained less water and looked less puffy and generally felt better about how I looked during pregnancy. Be sure to eat LOTS of fresh fruits and juices and vegies. My motto is to "eat colorful"! The greater variety of color in your diet the better ;-) Taking good food into your body and getting adequate rest (which can be hard with little ones, I know) will help you not only look your best but FEEL your best, which is even more important. How can your children's father get away with not paying child support regularly? In the states, we often have the father pay support through the court system. The father gives the child support check to the clerk of courts and then the clerk of courts gives the check to the mother. That way it gets recorded monthly and it sort of keeps the father's feet to the fire. They're less inclined to skip a payment to the courthouse than they might be to skip a payment to the children's mother. I don't know if anything like that is available in Australia, but you might look into it. I'll say a prayer for you, that you feel better ;-) Sharon [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> [> Subject: Re: showing Author: luka [Edit] Date Posted: 07/23/06 1:40am The father gets out of it by getting cash in hand work. It's hard to feel attractive most of the time. I have been on my own for so long now my life is all about my children and i have no adult company. I think i stopped feeling like a woman a while ago and more like utility. I get the feeling subconsioulsy (by society) that it can't be about me anymore. I have children it's about them and their interests and them feeling pretty or whatever.I don't have the time or money or energy most of the time to try to make myself look better they way i used to (ie going to have my hair done haveing facials like before i had children). Even stangers call me mum lol nobody asks me how i am and means it. I'm just mum you know? I feel depressed sometimes because i watch the childrens father so interested in them when he see's them and then he his able to walk out the door right past me and it hurts. I wish someone was interested in me. I love my children and i am not complaining i adore being a mother. It's just hard to feel so unimportant to any one adult much less to the man who's child i am carrying again. Knowing how 'happy' he is about the other womans child and how he wrote her poetry about how happy he is about their baby. I feel stupid for believing he really loved me and all the other BS. I don't deserve his treatment i know this. I am not offered any other kind of treatment anywhere expecpt from counsellors ect. The ill treatment or casual disregard doesn't just come from him. My family which is only really my mum well i have issues with. Shes happy about the baby ect. But she doesn't count as support since if i am outwardly worried or sad she doesn't try to comfort me and most of the time it annoys her which makes me feel doubly bad. My mum likes to stay in her little bubble of delusion that everything is rosy. My ever being unhappy contradicts that. It's complicated my relationship with her. My grandmother is happy about the baby but skims over things every time i try to confide in her, shes only interested in the good news. I never see my father , he was abusive. I was abused as a child also by someone else for years, my mother had a hunch that it was happening, i know she did and let it happen. There are alot of issues that have never been resolved there. Every man i have ever been with has abused me plus some women who were meant to be my friends. From where i am standing after all that i have been though i don't quite know who to trust anymore. I find myself just coping most days. I do my best i really do. I go along and most of the time i have too much to do to sit around and wallow in self pity. But occassionally how alone i am hits it me and it feels rotten. I do my best and when i fall down in despair on days like today the only people i have to turn to are relative strangers. I have a counsellor i see once a week and sometimes call counsellors on telephone lines if it's after hours. Or i come on here lately. But theres nobody in my life who is permanent who knows me and loves me for me to turn to or to just hug me and say it's ok. I am strong..because i have to be.

[> [> Subject: movement Author: luka [Edit] Date Posted: 07/23/06 2:55am Just a question for Sharon or anyone on here who has been pregnant before. I may be worried for nothing i am aware of this , but.. i am a little concerned about not feeling any more movement from my baby for the day or so. Can this be normal at a little over 14 weeks, to feel movement inconsistently? I guess it is but it sure would be comforting to hear of any other women who had the same thing happen early in their second trimester and everything was fine. I am going to hire one of those doppler things that pick up the babys heartbeat so that i can stop worrying. I saw an add in one of my pregnancy magazines, i think it would be wonderful to be able to pop it onto my belly and hear the heartbeat if ever i felt worried.