Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 08/30/06 3:42pm
Hi, Pixey,
I just want to tell you that you are ALREADY a good mum. You are protecting your baby, and worrying about his or her well-being. I agree with Heather. All of our children are grown, and what she said about children is so true. Once they leave home, they are on their own. They can make mistakes (goodness knows I made a few), and yet they will not forget your teaching, and in the long run, they will come back to it. It may even take awhile, but it will happen.
I was really shocked when my mother told me recently that she was scared when I was born, and had no idea how to take care of me! She had always seemed so calm and collected, and competent, and she was a real rock in my life, someone I could lean on and trust. And yes, she made some mistakes, too, but I survived, and I am happy. I love her dearly. I think we all feel some apprehension, and it comes from our deep and abiding love, and our concern to provide the best possible environment. Please know that the perfect environment is not even good for a child, because unless the child faces SOME adversity, s/he will never learn to cope with it, and coping with adversity is a critically important survival skill. Do the best you can as a mother, and let God fill in the gaps. He loves our children far more than we are capable of anyway. Teach your child about God.
Your baby will love and respect you, and if you establish good discipline in the context of a fierce, steady, and abiding love, your child will thrive. The most loving thing you can do is help your child toward self discipline, because a person who is not self disciplined is not a happy person. Watch very closely once your child starts to school, also, and if you see something you don't like, do something about it. These days, trying to get the school to do the right thing is almost impossible, so look for other answers if you can.
Please know it is rare for a mother not to do an excellent job of loving her child, and everything else flows from that. If you need help with something specific, it is available; look for someone you can trust, such as a friend, rather than going to a stranger, no matter how well intentioned, and no matter how much "training" they have. Nothing beats genuine caring, and only a friend can give you that.
Keep up the good work, Mum! :)
Hugs,
Pat
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