VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Thursday, March 28, 6:36:40Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1234567[8]910 ]
Subject: scared


Author:
pixey
[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
Date Posted: 08/30/06 12:48am

what if im not a good mum. this baby fully depends on me to survive and that scares me alot. i dont want to let my baby down i cant affored to let it down i only get 1 chance.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:
[> Subject: Re: scared


Author:
Donna
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 08/30/06 6:09am

Hi Pixey,
I think that every woman even the most confident ones have had this question flash thru their minds with their first pregnancies. So you are not alone. I feel those thoughts must come from Motherly Love. You already have the desire to be the best mom you can be. From that desire alone you will do everything in your power to care for your baby. For now, that will include, eating good nutrition, getting adequate rest, staying sensitive to any changes you may see with your body, keeping your doctor appointments and following your doctors advice. After he or she is born, believe it or not, everything kicks in, the nature of mothering just seems to happen, even to those that have not been around children much in their lives. It's nature. With your desire and comittment I think you'll be just fine. It's all about the choices we make in life. It always helps to ask God for his guidance in our pathways in life. Write anytime.
Blessings,
Donna
[> Subject: Re: scared


Author:
luka
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 08/30/06 6:11am

It's normal to be scared, women who plan their babies and are married ect are scared with their first baby. It is normal and actually more of a sign that you will be a good mother than anything. If you weren't scared i would be more concerned. It is a big deal bringing a child into this world definately. Nothing ever goes perfectly in life so there are allways ups and downs. You would be surprised at how well you will be as a mother though. Nothing prepares you for how much you will love this little person. Let yourself be worried AND excited and nervous and thrilled. It's a process. I have had children and i am still worried about how i will cope when my baby is born on some levels. But i also have the experience of being worried/scared during pregnancy before and i know that once i see my baby all of whatever i feared is dwarfed by the awe and rush of love and happiness of seeing and holding my baby for the first time. Your child is so indescribably precious and beautiful. You just naturally focus on that more than you do the things that worried about before you had your baby.
[> Subject: Re: scared


Author:
Heather
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 08/30/06 2:50pm

Hi Pixey,

I can't say it much better than Luka did, but want to add my agreement. My husband and I were married and 'semi' planning for a child, had the support of family, etc, and I was still a nervous wreck even though I was thrilled to be expecting.

You'd be surprised how much you just sort of 'know' what to do when it's your own baby, though.

It helped me a lot, too, to read up and get familiar with what was going on as much as I could, though. Like Luka said, you just can't account for everything and there will always be variables (that's what makes it an adventure, lol) but getting knowledge on what can be known ahead of time is definitely a reassuring thing.

As to the longer term health and well-being of your baby as they go through life, it might help, too, to know that ultimately you aren't responsible for that. You do the best you can to love, nurture and protect them because they are SO dear to your heart, but ultimately their life, choices, and circumstances are their own. I have to remind myself of that periodically, even though mine are still pretty young, because I just know it's going to be so bittersweet to see them grow up and 'away' into adults. I have to entrust them to God, the One who made them, and realize they are His, not mine, and I have been blessed with the special joy and stewardship of being their mother.

Practical FYI - beware of the hormones! Many wise women informed me early on in my pregnancies not to make any lasting assessments of myself, life, or others while 'under the influence' of those wacky hormones that would make me feel very vulnerable one moment and 'on top of the world' the next. Each woman is different, just something to watch for. :)

Don't hesitate to ask away any questions you have here.

With Support,

Heather
[> [> Subject: Re: scared


Author:
luka
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 08/30/06 3:38pm

You raised a Very important point about hormones there Heather they do make you feel different and make you more worried/concerned about everything than you usually are. that may just be natures way of making sure you are attentive and caring for and about your baby.

"As to the longer term health and well-being of your baby as they go through life, it might help, too, to know that ultimately you aren't responsible for that. You do the best you can to love, nurture and protect them because they are SO dear to your heart, but ultimately their life, choices, and circumstances are their own." ~ That's food for thought. I've never heard it put like that before.
[> Subject: Re: scared


Author:
Pat
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 08/30/06 3:42pm

Hi, Pixey,

I just want to tell you that you are ALREADY a good mum. You are protecting your baby, and worrying about his or her well-being. I agree with Heather. All of our children are grown, and what she said about children is so true. Once they leave home, they are on their own. They can make mistakes (goodness knows I made a few), and yet they will not forget your teaching, and in the long run, they will come back to it. It may even take awhile, but it will happen.

I was really shocked when my mother told me recently that she was scared when I was born, and had no idea how to take care of me! She had always seemed so calm and collected, and competent, and she was a real rock in my life, someone I could lean on and trust. And yes, she made some mistakes, too, but I survived, and I am happy. I love her dearly. I think we all feel some apprehension, and it comes from our deep and abiding love, and our concern to provide the best possible environment. Please know that the perfect environment is not even good for a child, because unless the child faces SOME adversity, s/he will never learn to cope with it, and coping with adversity is a critically important survival skill. Do the best you can as a mother, and let God fill in the gaps. He loves our children far more than we are capable of anyway. Teach your child about God.

Your baby will love and respect you, and if you establish good discipline in the context of a fierce, steady, and abiding love, your child will thrive. The most loving thing you can do is help your child toward self discipline, because a person who is not self disciplined is not a happy person. Watch very closely once your child starts to school, also, and if you see something you don't like, do something about it. These days, trying to get the school to do the right thing is almost impossible, so look for other answers if you can.

Please know it is rare for a mother not to do an excellent job of loving her child, and everything else flows from that. If you need help with something specific, it is available; look for someone you can trust, such as a friend, rather than going to a stranger, no matter how well intentioned, and no matter how much "training" they have. Nothing beats genuine caring, and only a friend can give you that.

Keep up the good work, Mum! :)

Hugs,
Pat



Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.