help quick -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject:

help quick

Author:
pixey

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Date Posted: 08/31/06 7:18pm

ive been having stomach cramps all day and now im bleeding what does this mean? ive got a docters appmnt for later but im really scared it could be a miscarraige or something and i just need some advice like b4 i go

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: help quick

Author:
Melanie
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Date Posted: 08/31/06 10:50pm

Hi Pixey, I am glad that you hhave a doctor's appointment. I hope you are already on your way. I wish I could answer your concerns, but the doctor is the one that can do that. While miscarriage is a possibility, cramping and small amounts of bleeding are not uncommon and it isn't a given. The doctor should be able to test for HCG levels and perhaps do an ultrasound to find out for sure what is going on.

The best advice I can give is to just express all of your concerns and ask any questions that come to mind. Make sure they explain everything that is going on to you so you don't have to wonder. I know that seems obvious, but when you are going through the stress of it all, things don't get asked sometimes. Make sure you understand any instructions.

Please do come back here and let us all know how you are doing.

--Melanie

[> [> Subject:

Re: help quick

Author:
pixey
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Date Posted: 08/31/06 11:43pm

the docter loked at me and said "youve lost your baby" as if id misplaced it or something like it was my car keys or the remote or something like that why dont they just say that it died because when you lose something you normly get it back and im not going to get my baby back. i was so ready 2 love this baby and oh it feels like my whole life has just come crashing down. i cant believe it. i just want it to be a really bad dream. i havnt told the father yet hell probly be happy. i was ready to be a mum. i dont know what to do i dont want to tell anybody. i was actually starting to feel it move around and everything. i feel so oh incomplete i guess. sorry guys diddnt mean to babble on im just trying not to cry im trying to be brave. isnt it amazing how attached you get. i just want to feel it move again. i wanted a boy i was going to name it andre and if it was a girl chloe

[> [> [> Subject: Re: help quick
Author: Melanie [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 09/ 1/06 6:25pm I'm very sorry, Pixy. It's O.K. to cry, in fact it's probably healthy. Were they able to tell you much of anything about what happened? Hugs, Melanie

[> [> [> Subject: Re: help quick

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 09/ 2/06 7:04am

Pixey,

I think I can understand how you feel. Yes, doctors tend to talk very clinically. To some extent, they do that because they don't really know what to say. They don't know how you would like them to say it.

I am sorry your baby is gone. Most women have experienced this sooner or later. I did. It can be rough. Just know that your baby is with God, and is happy.

Please make sure that you take some kind of step to bring the abuse you have been experiencing out into the open. You deserve to be protected. Look for someone you can trust, who will not reveal anything you don't want revealed until you are ready. Perhaps that person can intervene in some way to change the situation. Your pastor (if you have one) or a crisis pregnancy agency could help.

I agree with Melanie. Let yourself cry as much as you need to.

Feel free to come back anytime to talk to us.

Love,
Pat

[> Subject: Re: help quick

Author:
luka
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Date Posted: 08/31/06 11:18pm

I bled a little with this pregnancy on and off for about a month (felt like much longer though!) and i passed a few small clots i thought for sure that mean i would miscarry. I am now over 20 weeks pregnant so obviously i didn't miscarry. How far along are you? If you're around 6 weeks or over you should be able to pick up a heart beat on a sonogram. I reccomend that you ask for one. It's horrible having to wait up to 4 days to have a couple of HCG tests to see if the levels are rising or not. An ultrasound gives you a more immediate answer. I hope that everything turns out to be ok. Please do let us know what happens.

[> Subject: Re: help quick
Author: Pat [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 09/ 1/06 12:00am Hi, Pixey, I agree. I recommend you go see your doctor right away, or if he's not available, you call a nurse's service or go to the emergency room. The cramps could mean that you are going to have a miscarriage. There may not be anything they can do, but they may be able to do something. Please let us know how you are doing. Hugs, Pat

[> [> Subject: Re: help quick

Author:
luka
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Date Posted: 09/ 1/06 5:45pm

Hold on sweetie what actually happened? Did you physically lose your baby and see him or her come away with the blood? How was the diagnosis made?? You may not have lost your baby. I know a woman who bleed a fair amount throughout her pregnancy and her baby was born perfectly fine at term. I know of doctors who have falsely diagnosed miscariage. Please don't let him do a D+C make absolutley certain that you have in fact lost your baby before you do anything rash. If youre far anough along to feel your baby move which in my mind is what? Around 4 months?? Then you would certainly at some point actually give birth (or in some cases the baby would come out quite easily) to a dead fetus and it would NOT look like a blob of blood. Please come back and let us know some more specifics it may be ok still!

[> [> [> Subject: Re: help quick
Author: pixey [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 09/ 1/06 7:59pm luka what do i do what do i ask 4?im going to see a different docter oh i really hope your right. the docter did 1 of those things where you listen to the heartbeat and we diddnt hear a thing he took some blood aswel

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: help quick

Author:
luka
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Date Posted: 09/ 2/06 3:49am

Well first how much blood have you lost exactly? Enough to soak a pad or more? If so how often did you have to change the pad? Were there any clots? If so how big? How is the bleeding now? How is the cramping? I am guessing that you haven't had your baby literally come out so there is hope. You really, really need an ultrasound! How many weeks pregnant are you?? Is it possible that youre not as far along as you think? I think that he most definately should have given you a referral to have an ultrasound because thats more definative. If i were you i would be holding out hope untill i am am literally holding the fetus in my hand. I would suggest that you still not opt for a D&C because it will tear your baby apart. If it were me (and maybe youre different i don't know) i would want to be induced to expell the baby in a more organic way then i could hold and see my baby and say goodbye. I really hope your doctor is wrong too. I think it was Pat that mentioned something about having a doctor once try to convince her that she had lost her baby when she had not. She never did tell me the details but maybe she would have some valuable imput to the situation as well. Maybe your situation is similar (?).

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: help quick

Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 09/ 2/06 9:14am

Hi Pixey,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. I agree it would be best to get an ultrasound or HCG test to verify that you've lost the baby. If so, please know that you're definitely not alone. Miscarriage is very common, and most women experience one at some point in their lives; I have, and I know the feelings of loss and questioning that accompany it and my heart goes out to you.

Please remember in your sadness to take good care of yourself. You should try to rest as much as possible and eat high iron foods (or take an iron supplement) to help compensate for some of the blood loss. And be gentle with yourself. It's most likely there was nothing you could have done, and there are reasons for things greater than what we can understand with our partial vision.

With Kindness and Hugs,

Heather