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Friday, March 29, 8:38:41Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1234567[8]910 ]
Subject: Re: Any suggestions


Author:
Melanie
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Date Posted: 10/ 2/06 12:50pm
In reply to: Melissa 's message, "Any suggestions" on 10/ 2/06 12:01pm

Hi Melissa,

I haven't been through what you are going through exactly. What I can tell you is to get help if you need it. Network with other people. You can be a good mom and get some assistance sometimes and you may need some extra rest. I'm not saying you have to get "babysitting" necessarily if that is not something you are comfortable with, but you can get support. Do you have any family nearby that will help you from time to time. I mean, just a little help with the house, an extra set of hands to hold a baby once in a while can work wonders. Is the father pretty helpful?

Kudos for the online college work. :)

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Any suggestions


Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 10/ 2/06 6:01pm

Melissa,

Lots of people have gone through what you are experiencing. From a medical standpoint, you are at the perfect age to have children. Your two children will be close together in age, and will become best friends. I have seen it with my own children, and it is wonderful!

You are so lucky! When I was going to college and had my older daughter, online classes were not available. There wasn't even any internet! But I found a woman who lived in a dorm whom I could trust, and for one class, she took care of my daughter. This meant being apart from her for only about an hour and a half twice a week. It wasn't a problem. Never, ever asking someone to take care of your child is being too strict with yourself. It's almost certainly not good for your daughter, either, because she needs to learn to accept other people. You don't want to put her frequently into someone else's hands for hours on end (except in case of emergency), but a little babysitting occasionally, or even once a week, so you can get out is not a bad idea. The important thing is to find someone you can trust. Ideally, it will be a family member, but it can be a close friend. Usually, a child will go through a stage of being afraid of strangers at about four months of age. The best antidote I know of is to let people visit and hold her and play with her. But if you get past that stage, which happens in only a handful of weeks, it will be OK. Four months is about the time when the baby really bonds with her mother.

If you want to keep your relationship alive, abortion is absolutely NOT a wise choice.

It sounds like mainly you need help with practical problems. For that reason, I recommend you go to your local crisis pregnancy agency. You can find one here:

Pregnancy Centers.

You can also have online counseling or counseling by phone at this site.

Good luck to you! You are a fine young woman who is very responsible, and you are going to make it. Keep in touch, and come back any time you need to talk.

Hugs,

Pat



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