To baby or not to baby... -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: To baby or not to baby...

Author:
Lisa (Confused)

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Date Posted: 10/ 5/06 8:40am

Hello, I just came across your forum while looking for answers online. I just found out I am pregnant, maybe about three to four weeks. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 22, we have no relationship problems except for this baby. He is very set on not having this baby, although he says it is my decision and is behind me all the way. We can barely support ourselves and have to scrape up money for rent each month. I talk to all my friends who have kids, and don't, and all of them are excited. My mom feels it would have been better if my life was more together, of course. I keep going back and forth on whether or not to abort this baby. I can't even take care of myself let alone a kid. I am so confused. Maybe someone out there has some advice to give that will help put everything in perspective. It is all so overwhelming. Please email me if you can at twistdbnny@yahoo.com

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: To baby or not to baby...

Author:
Melanie
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Date Posted: 10/ 6/06 8:41am

Hi Lisa.

You mentioned what your boyfriend wants, and what your mom thinks, but what is it that you want? I know it's really tough to sort everything out with so many conflicting things going on inside of you right now.

I know things look really scary in regards to money right now. It seems like it was that way for our family every time I was pregnant. That is not always how things stayed. Financially we have always had ups and downs, circumstances change often, but we always managed.

There are places you can go to get some help with practical needs and emotional support if you need to. Let me know if you are interested and I'll help you locate one.
You do have one big advantage and that is that you have friends that are supportive.

Take care,
--Melanie

[> Subject: Re: To baby or not to baby...

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 10/ 9/06 3:18am

Hi, Lisa,

Sorry to take so long to write to you. I have been having computer problems.

We women are pregnant for nine months for a reason. It's so we get ready to be mothers. By the time your baby is born, you will be ready to be a mother. Don't let your boyfriend pressure you into anything. It would be the worst possible thing for your relationship to have an abortion. Your baby is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby!

Financial things can be tough, but you do have time to plan ahead. If you breastfeed your baby and keep things simple, it won't cost that much. You can get medical care and other kinds of help by visiting a crisis pregnancy agency. Here is a site that will tell you where the nearest one to you is located:

Unplanned Pregnancy and Abortion Information

They can also help you sort things out so that you are making it financially. Maybe you need an apartment which is better and in a better location but costs less. A friend of mine had that experience. Someone helped her find one, and then she didn't have any more huge problems, and was able to go ahead and have her baby. It would be criminal to force you to destroy your baby over that issue! Also, abortion is actually medically risky, and I wouldn't want you to get hurt. They'll tell you it's safe, but it's not.

Good luck with this! Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. Remember: abortion is forever; you can't take it back. Be VERY sure before you do something like that, because the minute a woman has an abortion, she no longer has any choices.

Hugs,
Pat