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Subject: Re: Ups and Downs - long story Author: amber [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 04/ 9/06 5:51pm In reply to: Rachel O 's message, "Ups and Downs - long story" on 04/ 1/06 11:49am Rachel, I know that you and I have never really talked before but I am so happy that you are alright and that your son Eli and the baby are doing alright. I've never told anyone this before but aaron also has some very serious metal health issues in where he actually blacks out and has without realizing it hit me, he wont get any help because he is afraid they will lock him up. This morning was a bad morning. He had a really bad dream and in the middle of the night he actually punched me in the eye while dreaming. I love aaron so much but he has actually attempted to rape me a few times in his sleep, its like its not him at all, like he's fighting it himself somehow. I've tried to convince him to go see a psychiatrist but he refuses. His black out's are becoming more frequent and I am afraid he will seriously end up hurting himself, me or the babies. A few times he has even put a gun to my stomach and said it would be better for me not to have his children because they'll just end up being freaks like him, and then other times he's so loving and sweet that when I actually think im strong enough to go tell someone what's happening I feel guilty about it. He has no metal illness's in his family and he just started doing this about 6 months ago. Maybe the best thing for me to do is just what you have. Tell him i'm leaving until he gets help and go home to my parents until the babies are born. I'm in college but I could always continue when I come back. I tell you something, you have made me realize that sometimes no matter how much you love someone you should always do what's best for you and your babies even if it hurts you to walk away and wait for them to do what they need to do before coming back to you. I know I should of told you all about this sooner but I just thought it might go away, I was hoping it was just a phase aaron was going through. Rachel, thank you so much for helping me see that I need to do something before whatever is happening to him gets worse. I have also heard of men going crazy and killing their wives and unborn children and then taking their own lives. It happened down the road from my house when I was 6 years old. SO PLEASE be safe. We all love you. Amber [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> [> Subject: Re: Ups and Downs - long story Author: Rachel [Edit] Date Posted: 04/21/06 11:35am hi amber! I am so glad you responded to my post on the board. I have responded on the board and in your email so to make sure you get this! yes - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE - you get out as soon as you can, too! i got tears in my eyes imagining him with a gun to your precious belly...if he has a gun then for sure you need to be somewhere safer. I also know what it is like to love the sane versions of your husband/boyfriend, but it only gets worse and without professional help nothign will get better. My piece of advice would be to make it sound like you are moving home only temporarily so that the support of you and two newborns will not have to all rest on him - in other words - instead of making him angry, make him thankful that you would understand his pain and his dliemma and are trying to remove that pressure from him. for example, i told Jeff that I am going up to Michigan to give the new baby up for adoption, that they will pay our living and healthcare expenses and $15,000 for living expenses I incurred while pregnant. His eyes lit up with a gleam of no baby and a huge check when it is all said and done. He's practically packing the bags for me! now, this isn't even remotely true, and I do believe more in honesty than dishonesty, but he doesn't even understand reality right now so the best i can do is make him happy until i and eli are safely out of the state. i really hope you talk to your family about this, and maybe his parents too once you are safe back home. I am seeking counseling right away about the best way to handle the way my life has blown up in my face. But, the babies are a blessing and a responsibility so I will stay strong for them. if you EVER need to talk, night or day, please email or call me - my info is at the bottom of the email... you are in my heart! Rachel