| Subject: Re: Please help |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 05/ 4/06 3:26pm
In reply to:
Nova
's message, "Please help" on 05/ 4/06 5:48am
Hi, Nova,
First of all, please try to calm down a little. You won't be able to think clearly about this as long as you are in a panic. I'll try to tell you some things that may help.
You are taking a new contraceptive, so all bets are off. You aren't necessarily pregnant. But just in case you are, I will discuss some other thoughts with you.
Just for future reference, birth control is not adequate protection against pregnancy. This is especially true in a relationship where there is no commitment. You indicated you already didn't use it properly the first month. So don't depend on birth control to keep yourself from becoming pregnant.
If you have been together only 6/7 weeks, it is hard for you to know that this is someone you don't want to lose, and this could be insecurity on your part. But there is always a chance he is the one. If that is the case, the LAST thing you want to do is get rid of the pregnancy, because that almost always causes a relationship to break up.
As for damage to the baby, if you start taking folic acid now, it is unlikely your baby will suffer any damage from a folic acid deficiency. At this stage, it is more likely that you will either have a healthy baby or lose the baby altogether. Living on junk food and drinking too much are unlikely to have a limited impact as well. You probably also should refrain from the birth control pill and from any sexual contact until you know for sure as well, but at this stage, it is still unlikely that the pill will cause limited damage for the same reason. So if you were to bear a handicapped child, it is unlikely, from the research I have done, that it would come from any of the things you have been doing. Just stop doing them now, and try not to worry about it any further. There are never any guarantees in life, not even for mothers who take perfect care of themselves.
Also, don't think you can "just know" you are pregnant. Maybe you are. But given you just started new birth control, it will be difficult for you to know. Most women aren't aware of being pregnant for a few weeks anyway. I was aware right away a couple of times, but I have also had five children and I wasn't using any birth control at the time, and that does make a difference. Also, since you panicked so easily about this, please examine your heart and see if you are really as comfortable with having sex at this stage as you have persuaded yourself you are. Having sex has consequences. One of the more serious consequences is sexually transmitted diseases, and many of these are nasty and cannot be cured. And there's no easy fix of any kind. Do you know that your boyfriend hasn't slept with anyone else?
There are resources available for you if you are pregnant, that can help you with the problems you are currently facing. You should go to a crisis pregnancy agency and let them help you.
One thing about being pregnant is it will tell you just how committed your boyfriend is to you. It's too early for him to know for sure, too, but if he abandons you, then you will know he's not the man you think he is. It's hard, being a woman and having to wait for the man to approach you and want to be with you and make a commitment to you. But when the right man comes along, he won't abandon you in the face of difficulty. It will be good knowing whether this is a man you can trust to cherish you no matter what.
Please keep in touch. We are here for you, and we will be praying for you. I hope this helps.
Hugs,
Pat
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