Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 07/15/06 12:12pm
Hi, Jacqueline,
I am so happy you have decided to keep your baby. You will be much happier following your heart.
Think about what you said. You said you don't want to kill your baby. Think about that for awhile. What does it mean to kill? Are you a killer? Obviously not! Nobody else is thinking about this. They're playing games with their heads. Your baby is depending on you for your protection, and you want to protect your baby! Just keep this thought in your head, and really think about it, every chance you get.
As for everyone else, they don't have to live inside your mind and your spirit. They wouldn't actually do it. You would. Just tell them that you have made your decision, your mind is made up, and it's not open to discussion.
These other people are thinking about other issues, I'm sure. You probably face some difficulties you will have to work through. I hope you will go to a crisis pregnancy agency and start to work on the things you need to deal with, the practicalities of it. They can give you all kinds of help. Once you start to solve the practical problems, you will feel more firm and settled about your decision, more at peace.
You can even tell people you are working on the practical issues. But tell them that you aren't going to discuss that with them until they stop advising you to kill your baby. Use those words with them. And if they don't leave you alone, walk away, or hang up, or whatever you have to do to end the conversation. If they follow you, walk away again, and tell them, I am leaving the room; don't follow me.
Once they see that your mind is made up, they'll leave you alone. It may take awhile.
As for your boyfriend, he willingly did something that caused him to become a father. He doesn't get a free pass. You have to deal with it. He can leave; you can't. So he doesn't get any sympathy from me. He isn't willing to take the responsibility. That said, I will explain that most men don't really connect with a pregnancy at first. They have to see some evidence. They have to feel the baby move, or see your body change, or see an ultrasound, or hear a heartbeat. Maybe your boyfriend will come around; give him time. But don't give him any slack on his demands. He has no right to ask this of you.
Patricia Heaton said that a woman who has an unplanned pregnancy is entitled to experience unplanned joy. This is my wish and prayer for you.
We'll be here to help you work through the problems and for any occasion when you just need to vent or feel like sharing something good. We will also pray for you, that God will give you the peace and strength to carry out your decision and not let yourself be swayed by what other people want.
Hugs,
Pat
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