Re: First pregnancy -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Thursday, April 25, 1:19:56

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Subject: Re: First pregnancy

Author:
Denis

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Date Posted: 07/19/06 7:01pm
In reply to: Jacqueline 's message, "Re: First pregnancy" on 07/19/06 5:21pm

My wife (Sharon) has been sending messages to you and other women for a couple of years on this website. I've never been involved in this, other than to listen to the stories she has told me. I was looking over her shoulder tonight and she was talking to me about you and your situation and I read a couple of your postings. Being a man, I can never know exactly how you feel and all the issues you are going through. However, having been a father many times over, I can't express in any detail or emotion how wonderful it is to bring your child into the world. All the headaches associated with this ( finacial problems with formula, diapers, daycare, etc.) and all the loss of "freedom" you used to have (because you can never do as you want when you want to like you used to do before), the carefree lifestyle, etc... is all gone. Is it worth it? Without any doubt, the answer is 100% yes! Even if you have to do it alone (which I did with my first child for many years), it is the most wonderful experience you will ever encounter. Though there have been times that were so hard over the years, and though I have said at times when things have been hard that if I had to do it over I would not have had kids, I know this is not true because in the long run, my best day without children doesn't even come close to my worst day with children. My heart goes out to you. Listen to YOUR heart, not others. It will give you the answer you are looking for.
Denis

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[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: First pregnancy

Author:
luka
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Date Posted: 07/19/06 8:42pm

I feel so much for you when i read about how you felt being in the doctors office. Wanting to scream. Far out. But you keep telling yourself that Dom is the best boyfriend you have ever had. Why are you clinging to him? You seem more for him than your baby. I am confused a little. I know he's rubbing your back ect but that's because he wants you to have an abortion. I am not saying he's a bad person or that he doesn't care for you to some degree..I believe he does what he does and feels what he feels out of ignorance, and so do you. But you're willing to go along with that even though you know better. You are trying to shut down your feelings and just shut down in general in order to do this. I just can't wrap my head around the idea that you should have to do that for anyone much less someone who's supposed to love you. I have SO much sympathy for you i feel like crying when i read how trapped you feel. The defeated lay down and die feeling that goes along with going against yourself for someone else. You are looking at Dom looking at all the reasons he is worth it to try to make the abortion seem like the right thing. Trying to convince yourself it's for the best. It's incredibly sad. I see two deaths in this scenario not just your babys but partly your own. The erosion that comes from doing something so feel strongly about not doing. It's not just whether or not to move or change jobs either it's your baby. It has a huge amount of gravity. This baby is a part of you (and dom) that you're about to kill off. I don't know what 2 things are more sacred than your baby and your will/ maternal instincts. Both washed away with one act. This is incredibly sad to read. I hope something happens to make it all better for you and your baby. You have my deepest sympathy. I wish i was there to give you a hug :(