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Thursday, March 28, 11:32:06Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 12345678[9]10 ]
Subject: Re: repost


Author:
luka
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Date Posted: 08/10/06 12:43am
In reply to: shelby 's message, "repost" on 08/ 8/06 9:47am

I can totally understand where you are comming from about your horses. I am an animal lover also and my animals are my babies too :) It's a gift to care that much for an animal you are indeed a special person. I think there should be some way of having your horses cared for maybey Pat can help you to follow up on that or find some kind person who would be willing to help you care for them temporarily. I would maybe look into if there are any horse rescue people out your way. Often people involved in animal rescue voluntarily care for animals because they geniunely care for them. Your cause is very much a worthy one. I think it's important for you to be able to keep them because they make you feel happy and give you unconditional love.
The fact that your father got you pregnant is horrendous. I can only imagine how messed up you must feel. I have to say the fact that your mother would be angry at you for such a thing makes me ill and very angry.
You sound quite mature for your age i'm really impressed with your abilty to express yourself. I wish i could tell you what you should do but i don't believe i can. Alot of others will try to say do this or do that especially your parents or certain biased counsellors but it really is your decision -i can't stress that enough. Even if you are bullied into deciding one way or another the decision is still ultimately yours. If you regret either decision it's still your responsibilty- you need to be able to live with whatever you decide. Listen to your heart. Trust yourself. Obviously most people would hear that your father got you pregnant and say have an abortion! Others who see your baby simply as an innocent life and are dead against abortion will say keep it, keep it! I think that the last thing you need right now is pressure. I am not going to try to sway you with my personal beliefs they are mine and you need to workout what yours are. Right or wrong we are all just learning as we go. Better to make your own choices for better or worse than regret a decision that wasn't really yours to begin with you know? You need compassion and you need time, space and support to figure out what it is that you feel is right.
Having an abortion won't change the fact that your father raped you or the fact that your mother will not protect you from such a monstrous act by one of the people in the world who are suposed to love and protect you unconditionally. Having an abortion won't stop this from happening again either. It won't change much except that you won't be pregnant any more. Having your baby may very well stop your father from continuing to posion your world and steal your innocence. Who knows if he has done this to any othner young girls as well, i shudder to think. If it came to light believe me you will be empowered and free of the burden and guilt that goes along with having to hide such an atrocious reality. None of this should be yours to bear it's absolutely not fair!
If any part of you feels love towards your baby it's a feeling that needs to be explored before you jump the gun and have an abortion. I am sure that there are other women in your situation that have had their babies and i think you may even be able to find some stories online about them. It would be helpful for you to be able to see a few exapmles of what it may be like for you to keep your baby.
Obviously there are going to be alot of people who think you shouldn't keep your baby, you need to be prepared for that. It doesn't make them right though. If you feel that you just cannot bear the thought of having your baby and either keeping or having your baby adopted then you need to explore those reasons too.
Just remember though. While of course it would be much much better for you not to be pregnant in the first place- Abortion doesn't erase the fact that you are or were. Alot of women myself inculded (with a past abortion) sort of feel like once they terminate a pregnancy then it all just goes back to normal like nothing happened. But thats not the reality and unfortunately those women only realise this after the fact and then it's too late to change.In any case your normal isn't normal anyway. Girl you need to get out of that situation no matter what! Your father has no right to call himself a parent. I wish i lived closer i swear if i did i would be right there with you helping out in any way that i can. I am praying that one the other ladies on here lives close enough to you. I think you really need someone by your side right now. Please continue to let us know how you're going ok?

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[> Subject: Re: repost


Author:
luka
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Date Posted: 08/11/06 1:20am

One other thing..If you decide to have an abortion (horrible as this sounds) i think it's imperative that you have the remains of your child DNA tested to prove that your baby was fathered by your father. Even if you're not ready to report it now you may well be in the future. I know i didn't report the sexual abuse i suffered as a child untill years later. I know from experience that your feelings about reporting this are likely to change as you become older-that is if you don't want to now. I would have been glad to have had some physical evidence when i took my case to court. It's very difficult to argue with DNA proof.



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