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] Date Posted:01/11/08 6:28pm In reply to:
Stephanie
's message, "Can't decide?" on 12/19/07 12:34pm
It's dissapointing to hear how unsupportive your mother has been. What a cruel thing to say as if you want your children to suffer, good grief! It's painting a picture for me and i can see clearly why you feel as bad as you do. I feel you sliding deeper into a mode of blambing yourself and being down on yourself. The more that happens the more you (or anyone in your situation) will tend to let others dictate. Be careful, because it would be easy to go along with the wishes of others in this state of mind. You may do something you don't want to and they aren't going to feel sorry if you regret it and they can't bring your baby back if you choose to abort it under their pressure. Whatever you do Stephanie let it be YOUR decision. Do not make the mistake of handing your power over to someone else no matter who it is or what is your reasoning.
I will say again, there aint nothing selfish about having your baby! Mothers sacarafice so much for thier childen. I just don't know why the word selfish ever comes into it, it frustrates and infuriates me. I am a single mom of 4 and i can tell you that there is nothing selfish about the amount of work and time i put into caring for them i hardly have any time to myself at all and thats ok i love them to bits and they are worth every minute. But heaven help the person who tells me i am selfish for having them!
Selfish would be abortion, it would seem to most 'the easy way out'. This baby didn't ask to be conceived but she's (he's) here thats the reality.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this greif from those closest to you.
I can tell you without reservation that i believe you want to keep your baby. But youre vulnerable and emotional because of the pregnancy and because of this it is easy for others to put doubt in your mind. You just want to do whats right i can hear this clearly from you. Don't let others dictate to you what you feel is right only you can know that because this is your life and your family. And , like Heather said you are the only one who has to live with your decision. Your children will have a sibling and i am sure they would love him or her. My children were so excited when i told them i would be having another baby. I was at the sonogram place getting a check up because i thought i may have been miscarrying but nope instead they found a heartbeat. Being a single mom i had to bring them with me. My eldest daughter asked me what they were looking at in my belly on the screen and i told them. They started yelling yay and jumping up and down. they were so excited they were telling the people in the waiting room that they were having a new baby brother or sister lol. You know your children just might feel the same.
No matter what Stephanie, i hear you and i understand what youre going through. No judgements will be comming from me i have made too many stuff ups of my own to ever judge another person. This is a confusing time i hope you find clarity, peace and resolve very soon. Please keep us posted.
With kindness from one mom to another..
Stephanie, how are you?